DIP Lite and What I am Learning about My Self: Day 9

I am walking the DIP Lite course and considering DIP Pro as the next natural step in the flow.
I want to share my experience of "renewing" myself in this active, focused, walking awareness of process.

Where to start?
I am in the self-commitment statement part of the course, where I spell out what realizations I have in relationship to a single sentence of self-forgiveness I wrote in the last part of the course, then move on to self commitment statements about correcting my self when faced with the point I forgive myself for.

What am I seeing here about my self in this section?
I am seeing within my writing about anything that I am exercising a great clarity and insight to my self. I am guiding my self healthily through points in my life and my mind with a structured and organized focus on my self and my ability.

What do I mean by this?
We'll do a before and after DIP Lite of this same experience.

When thinking about mistakes I make in the day, how does my self reflection go?
The day starts.. and at some point I skip a responsibility, miss an opportunity to fulfill my self, or fall flat on my face trying to do something important to me.

That sucks, what happens in those moments?
I go into my head and start assessing what just went down. I think about how to recover from the experience, maybe it isn't over yet, the experience can still be salvaged into a personal success! I look for ways to do something about it, but i'm guessing the whole time hoping I come up with a solution to my experience and situation. Time passes and I didn't resolve it, the moment is gone and there is nothing to do about it now.. It becomes something I will have to "try again some other time".  My reflection on that moment continues into the next day, whatever happened wasn't just a situation in the world, now it is a mental scenario affecting me into a new day!

What happens here, when the time passes and it is now in my head?
I practice all I know how to resolve my mind's disturbance! Seeing perspectives, open my self to new understandings, look for any insight I have by reviewing the memory, thinking about other things to get my mind off it, going on some walk, there's plenty of things I can try. OR sometimes it goes away, there's nothing gained from it, I forget or ignore it, I let it change my experience of my self for ANY amount of time and do nothing about it, I accept it... the options for "dealing with it" are numerous.

I am going to make a statement about the way I deal with things inside the mind and I believe this is most likely true for you as well.

I pretend I know what I am doing most the time, I am guessing and running on hints.
I am not the one directing my self, my mind is - yet I have an idea of my self calling the shots.
My self assessment is not thorough and does not follow a set of rules.
The outcomes in my life are not guaranteed, but the potential for successful outcomes is unlikely because of the level of discipline in relationship to my self.
It is more luck, circumstances, and my programming growing up that's got me here.
I go about my internal world and external world haphazardly.

What is the difference with this process I am walking?
The day starts.. and at some point I skip a responsibility, miss an opportunity to fulfill my self, or fall flat on my face trying to do something important to me.

That sucks, what happens in those moments?
I go into my head and start assessing what just went down. I look for ways to do something about it and see that I have tools and a structured way of reflecting to help me see the way. I breathe while the time passes and I have an opportunity to sit down with my self. I write about the experience. I look at what I wrote then identify my experience of compromise, reaction, fear, ego, emotions and feelings, thinking, and where it started. Then I move onto self forgiveness statements specific to my writing to release and give my self back to my self. I then write what I realize about my self in relationship to the experience and follow up with commitments to change with realistic considerations of applying that change.

But what about when I am done with that?
I breathe. I don't have to think about it. I took a point through a structured, healthy, and thorough assessment (self-writing, identifying the problem in writing). I applied a tool directly related to releasing/letting go/deleting the nuisance of my mind (self forgiveness) = so there's no avoidance tricks to worry about performing correctly. And I communicated to my self, all in writing, what I SEE (self-realization) that was REALLY GOING ON ... and then how I PLANNED TO FACE IT AND CHANGE (self-commitment). And then I breathe it into life with me.

I talked it out with my self, walked it through my mind on paper, now all that is left is to remind myself of the changes I am ready to apply when I face the same situation/moment/experience in my world. 

But this doesn't guarantee I will change, it supports my best efforts to change.The "moment of truth" is my physical application, if I live the change, embody it for real when the time comes. Breathing helps with this.

So - I hope my example was sufficient. The process walked in the DIP Lite is a process everyone walks, with or without awareness - I can see that now. Everyone is busy accumulating ways to resolve their minds and their lives, to change and be the best they can be, but there is really so much guessing going on. And in all that guessing, trial and error does work - but there's no real sense of knowing what the hell we are doing.. we cling to what we know works, or think works, and we don't always know why something works when it does either.

The difference I see here in how I apply myself, how this application differs from the previous, is in the structured reflecting on my self. Each tool like writing, self forgiveness, self realization, self commitment, is a reflection of who I am. Applying each of those tools to my self as my life in a "step-by-step" fashion.. especially in the way it is outlined.. seems to come from an understanding of what should naturally come before and after each other.. This process seems to be ordered the way anyone has successfully dealt with themselves by accidental guessing. This is the most direct way of working with my self I have encountered. The previous way I have lived and have a tendency to live is like pushing all the buttons on the control panel, grabbing for anything and everything I have in and near me.. just hoping it works. And given, I had method to my madness but this beats any mad methods of mine for resolving my issues.

Enjoy.