Back to Business: Day 1

Business is still relatively dead when it comes to my TechnoTutor process/progress. There are things I showed myself I could do to build the business that I stopped doing, things I do still that are part of building the business that I don't do consistently, and things i've yet to do that would build the business. 

1. What excuses do I have and hold onto, that I believe, accept, and allow without a challenge?
2. What are those things that I could and/or should do to build my business?
3. What within that can I forgive myself for that I would then take action on immediately, near-immediately, consciously and/or unconsciously?
4. What can I realize that would support me into a change that lasts, into taking action consistently, daily?
5. Will I be teachable enough to take action with an open mind to learning from failure?
6. Will I persist despite failure?
7. Will I take action on what I discover from investigating myself in writing?

1. I don't have time. It's going to take time. I want results now, not later, and I won't get results immediately. I have to face my fears of losing (friends, sales, my reputation). I fear getting verbally insulted and having my feelings hurt. I fear feeling failure, rejection, disappointment, incompetent, stupid, foolish, and less-than others. I don't have money for office space. I am in survival mode.

2. Go back out and pitch at the park, door knock, contact somebody for support and guidance on the lead generation, look at office spaces I can rent, contact people over Facebook and messenger, make a post BY ME to promote TT and SP, come up with my story, come up with a script for asking questions..

3. All of it. I am unprepared and so I would likely do the things that I see as preparation first or most immediately. That would be like writing out my story or script for questions, which is what i've not done. I haven't practiced anything. When I forgive myself in detail on some of these things that I get a knot in my stomach thinking about, like door knocking, I could end up doing them that day or the very next day. When I am effective in my self-forgiveness, the physical change is immediate/near-immediate.

4. This might take self-forgiveness to answer, first. What I can see I could realize that would support me into lasting change is that this is simple and I can do it every day, simple doesn't mean easy though and hard doesn't mean undoable or non-repeatable. It typically only means there's some sort of resistance and emotional turmoil troubling me and interfering with me taking action. I can realize that it's actually common sense and there's nothing special for me to develop to be able to do it, although I still must develop the common sense and allow myself to use it. I can realize that this is something I actually want to do and would enjoy who I become by making it a daily part of my life instead of something I forget about with time.

5. I can learn this mentality and appreciate the perspective most needed for the act. Yes.

6. I have and I am still here. The goal is to stand up sooner, to bounce back within a day, a couple hours, and/or in a couple minutes, to let it roll off my shoulders.. forgive myself.. learn from it.. forget about it.. and move forward integrating the lessons. Yes.

7. The is the primary objective of me writing that I will keep it mind at all times. My writing is to affect physical change as well with the equal and one internal change that aligns. Correcting myself in starting point and in action to what is best for me/all. It starts with me and it ends with me. Yes.
I am here to discover what is holding me back, releasing it, changing myself / my experience and my physical action.

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Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing excuses to stop me from building my business.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop myself from building my business, being my own obstacle, enemy, and resistance to changing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my fear to be the deciding factor in whether or not I build my business.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the reputation I will receive for putting myself out there to grow my business and in turn grow/expand myself into who I will become as a result.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the negative experiences as interactions with other people who do not agree with me, want what I have to offer, or like what I have to say/share. With that comes the negative experiences of emotions, thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, and reactions I have towards myself/others and what I am doing/saying and what they are doing/saying, which I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to also fear those negative experiences as something I simply must face and walk through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to insolate myself from any potential situation where I would experience these things in relationship to building my business with TechnoTutor and promoting Self-Perfected as my clubhouse and community.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that I do not have time to build my business with/as TechnoTutor and my clubhouse + community of Self-Perfected.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want results NOW, to want to make a sale NOW, to want to get money NOW for my efforts and that I resist putting in the time and effort required to get to the point I have results with making sales, with my clients goals, with growing my clientele and community/clubhouse, or with simply using TechnoTutor.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want everything with regards to my process and my business and my clubhouse/community to be easy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing friends as a result of building my business, growing my clubhouse, and walking my process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having my feelings hurt because I lost a relationship, someone said something mean to me, or I got rejected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of survival to prevent me from expanding myself by building my business or my clubhouse, because I think/believe I do not have time or money to afford such a thing when I just need to make money with my limited time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply give up on building my business and my clubhouse because it is "too hard" and I am emotionally reacting to it and resisting out of fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize who I can become in this process as the gift of going through all of this is I get to face myself and all the points within my mind/body that hold me back in life and in the system.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize I can forgive myself for the points that come up in the process of building my business and my clubhouse, then those reactions, resistances, fears, experiences, etc. all become gifts in my journey to life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that building my business and my clubhouse IS my process and directly reflects me back to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself through building my business and my clubhouse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing again if this self-forgiveness works and to not want to face that experience, so I subconsciously/unconsciously self-sabotage by not planning to do any of it or by putting in little effort as an expectation of failure which sets me up to fail.

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Self-Realization

When and as I see myself facing the point of building my business and/or my clubhouse again. whether that is me physically taking the actions in the moment or just having the awareness of this point dawning on me/emerging again to be considered, I stop and I breathe.

I realize I can change this experience. I can change myself in relationship to it. I can change this relationship with business, with clubhouses, and with other people involved in it.

I realize it is simple and it is common sense. 

I realize it is my mind fucking with me when it seems complicated or "too hard", yet I realize it is not "easy" either - it is neither. It is specific physical actions with relationship to real physical humans who I must communicate with and organize myself.

I realize that I can take this step-by-step in process and work through my mind shit that is physically limiting me / holding me back.
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Self-Commitment:

I commit myself to writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application (taking action aligned with the goal) on this point until it is done and I am moving myself effectively daily.

I commit myself to identify one action today in this writing to do that builds my business when done successfully and in repetition.

I commit myself to talking to one new person this week to prospect for TechnoTutor.

I commit myself to going to my clubhouse we set up for this Sunday and supporting our one clubhouse member who wants to come by giving her exactly what she is looking for.

I commit myself to realizing I can do this in action, to building myself up by placing myself in front of the people and in the situations I must be in to grow and change.

I commit myself to simplifying my process by cutting out bullshit.

I commit myself to taking down notes on all the various backchat and other bullshit that goes through my head about building this business or growing my clubhouse, to forgive it in spoken and written word.

I commit myself to believing in myself and that I can do anything and overcome any obstacle I face.

I commit myself to learning from my failures, which implies my commitment to changing my mentality around the things I will experience and face during this. I will be teachable.

I commit myself to supporting myself through all the self-doubt, fears, insecurities, and backchat that attempts to talk me out of this - to reassure and bolster myself when I feel like I can't do this or don't want to.

I commit myself to realizing that my writings must be followed up with actions and that every word I write has it's conclusion in the physical, where I DO what honors my word.