I am walking the DIP Lite course and considering DIP Pro as the next natural step in the flow.
I want to share my experience of "renewing" myself in this active, focused, walking awareness of process.
Where to start?
I am in the self-commitment statement part of the course, where I spell out what realizations I have in relationship to a single sentence of self-forgiveness I wrote in the last part of the course, then move on to self commitment statements about correcting my self when faced with the point I forgive myself for.
What am I seeing here about my self in this section?
I am seeing within my writing about anything that I am exercising a great clarity and insight to my self. I am guiding my self healthily through points in my life and my mind with a structured and organized focus on my self and my ability.
What do I mean by this?
We'll do a before and after DIP Lite of this same experience.
When thinking about mistakes I make in the day, how does my self reflection go?
The day starts.. and at some point I skip a responsibility, miss an opportunity to fulfill my self, or fall flat on my face trying to do something important to me.
That sucks, what happens in those moments?
I go into my head and start assessing what just went down. I think about how to recover from the experience, maybe it isn't over yet, the experience can still be salvaged into a personal success! I look for ways to do something about it, but i'm guessing the whole time hoping I come up with a solution to my experience and situation. Time passes and I didn't resolve it, the moment is gone and there is nothing to do about it now.. It becomes something I will have to "try again some other time". My reflection on that moment continues into the next day, whatever happened wasn't just a situation in the world, now it is a mental scenario affecting me into a new day!
What happens here, when the time passes and it is now in my head?
I practice all I know how to resolve my mind's disturbance! Seeing perspectives, open my self to new understandings, look for any insight I have by reviewing the memory, thinking about other things to get my mind off it, going on some walk, there's plenty of things I can try. OR sometimes it goes away, there's nothing gained from it, I forget or ignore it, I let it change my experience of my self for ANY amount of time and do nothing about it, I accept it... the options for "dealing with it" are numerous.
I am going to make a statement about the way I deal with things inside the mind and I believe this is most likely true for you as well.
I pretend I know what I am doing most the time, I am guessing and running on hints.
I am not the one directing my self, my mind is - yet I have an idea of my self calling the shots.
My self assessment is not thorough and does not follow a set of rules.
The outcomes in my life are not guaranteed, but the potential for successful outcomes is unlikely because of the level of discipline in relationship to my self.
It is more luck, circumstances, and my programming growing up that's got me here.
I go about my internal world and external world haphazardly.
What is the difference with this process I am walking?
The day starts.. and at some point I skip a responsibility, miss an opportunity to fulfill my self, or fall flat on my face trying to do something important to me.
That sucks, what happens in those moments?
I go into my head and start assessing what just went down. I look for ways to do something about it and see that I have tools and a structured way of reflecting to help me see the way. I breathe while the time passes and I have an opportunity to sit down with my self. I write about the experience. I look at what I wrote then identify my experience of compromise, reaction, fear, ego, emotions and feelings, thinking, and where it started. Then I move onto self forgiveness statements specific to my writing to release and give my self back to my self. I then write what I realize about my self in relationship to the experience and follow up with commitments to change with realistic considerations of applying that change.
But what about when I am done with that?
I breathe. I don't have to think about it. I took a point through a structured, healthy, and thorough assessment (self-writing, identifying the problem in writing). I applied a tool directly related to releasing/letting go/deleting the nuisance of my mind (self forgiveness) = so there's no avoidance tricks to worry about performing correctly. And I communicated to my self, all in writing, what I SEE (self-realization) that was REALLY GOING ON ... and then how I PLANNED TO FACE IT AND CHANGE (self-commitment). And then I breathe it into life with me.
I talked it out with my self, walked it through my mind on paper, now all that is left is to remind myself of the changes I am ready to apply when I face the same situation/moment/experience in my world.
But this doesn't guarantee I will change, it supports my best efforts to change.The "moment of truth" is my physical application, if I live the change, embody it for real when the time comes. Breathing helps with this.
So - I hope my example was sufficient. The process walked in the DIP Lite is a process everyone walks, with or without awareness - I can see that now. Everyone is busy accumulating ways to resolve their minds and their lives, to change and be the best they can be, but there is really so much guessing going on. And in all that guessing, trial and error does work - but there's no real sense of knowing what the hell we are doing.. we cling to what we know works, or think works, and we don't always know why something works when it does either.
The difference I see here in how I apply myself, how this application differs from the previous, is in the structured reflecting on my self. Each tool like writing, self forgiveness, self realization, self commitment, is a reflection of who I am. Applying each of those tools to my self as my life in a "step-by-step" fashion.. especially in the way it is outlined.. seems to come from an understanding of what should naturally come before and after each other.. This process seems to be ordered the way anyone has successfully dealt with themselves by accidental guessing. This is the most direct way of working with my self I have encountered. The previous way I have lived and have a tendency to live is like pushing all the buttons on the control panel, grabbing for anything and everything I have in and near me.. just hoping it works. And given, I had method to my madness but this beats any mad methods of mine for resolving my issues.
Enjoy.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Starting Points of Words: Day 8
An examination of my self in question,
Why are my words here?
What reason did I place myself in writing?
Where are my words coming from?
In other words than what I placed visibly for myself and others to see and hear, what is the source of these words?
I was having a conversation with my partner the other day about an experience I find tricky.
It is when I am communicating to myself in thought, spoken or written word - I can become unaware of my self within my application of the words. I may be going on and on, about this and that, yet only one thing is communicated. And it doesn't end.
A specific example, I like to push myself to be /honest/ with myself. I like to find ways of exploring self /honestly/. This sometimes looks like a prodding disbelief in my initial answers. I'm saying to myself, 'Hey, that doesn't sound like everything! That's not satisfactory what you gave me. There's more to what you mean, I don't believe you!' - and then I give myself more answers, I go on pushing myself for /more honesty/, and more and more.... and more. I have a thought that somewhere inside myself /that my honesty will be enough/. I have a thought /that applying my words from a point of honesty is all, it is enough/. Yet, I can push myself forever to be more frank, plain, brutal, visible and simple in my honesty and /still get stuck at a point/.
It is with this experience that I see, I have to see words in all the other ways they can be applied. It is not just to communicate everything in me as it is, because words do more than just reveal. Words create. It is cool, for a moment, to reveal myself in words as the expression of my self honesty. It is however not enough to stay in this mode of 'getting things out', it is not enough to spell out an experience. Up to a certain point, dragging out the communication based on revelatory honesty only supports and continues the creation of the shit going on inside. Honesty has to become responsibility and change. I have to move from a narrative of seeing my creations as they are into the words of a creator reconsidering the direction of my universe.
With this point coming to surface I can see how limited my mobility in words has been in life because of the fact I could not see the starting point of why I am accepting and allowing the placing of my words before me the way I am. Are these words I am writing, speaking, and thinking only serving as a distraction from something else? A distraction from my self and something more I could be doing? There is a tyrannical limitation on words, where the narratives coming from 'me' are only stimulated into existence by a single point of some idea about my self. The one thing I am always communicating is my self, and it is quite easy to for me to see some of the limitations in my words that keep me busy in my mind.
What power do I give to certain points within myself as my mind?
Can I see the words that describe what I am allowing to control my word choices and how I express myself in words?
What really deserves the creative, directive principle of my words?
How often do I accept something less worthy to dictate my diction?
Saturday, October 15, 2016
Initiative.. I give a shit in this shit I live: Day 7
Initiative:
the ability to assess and initiate things independently.
the power or opportunity to act or take charge before others do.
an act or strategy intended to resolve a difficulty or improve a situation; a fresh approach to something.
I began unintentionally looking at words that "serve the purpose" of words like "exploration", "discovery", and "direction". Initiative stands out to me in my process because in living initiative, I begin before anyone else sees what I do or looking for permission or confirmation.. without initiative I cannot fathom doing what I see within me.. and within the word "initiative" I also see a "line" coming DIRECT from myself.
In word play, I see "in this shit, I live" and "I give a shit". In this shit, i'm the one giving direction to myself.
And the shit I live in I give a shit about.
Referencing my dictionary definitions above, I see a line of self taking responsibility where no one else sees or knows someone else can. No one knows what each one can bring to the table. And initiative can resolve a messy/shitty situation by each one individually bringing themselves (fresh) to the situation.All this shit gets messy and the "fresh approach" for each one is to stop this shit, clear the way by sorting shit out by themselves, and helping with the clean up. An initiative is always a fresh approach - it's coming from me, the being before the beginning who is begetting the action. Giving a shit about the shit I live in, i'll act on what I see about the shit within me that can be done. Nothing would ever be done if no one had initiative. If everyone lives with self-initiative, we wouldn't be in this shit initially.
Also, considering the dimension of the word where it is to act/stand/become before anyone else - I had a look at if this can then be taught by someone else... if it is SELF initiative.. can anyone else really show self what it means to live self initiative? Who and what is initiating us in our lives? If we look inside, what's communicating our initiative? Mind-initiative is not self-initiative.. so can we really say that even if we act on our thinking, that we have initiative?
Looking at thoughts, too - that is really a big point of initiative where absolutely no one else can act on for us. What is going on within our minds requires self initiative from everyone - because in that shit we are clearly, absolutely the only ones who can sort it out in life.
the ability to assess and initiate things independently.
the power or opportunity to act or take charge before others do.
an act or strategy intended to resolve a difficulty or improve a situation; a fresh approach to something.
I began unintentionally looking at words that "serve the purpose" of words like "exploration", "discovery", and "direction". Initiative stands out to me in my process because in living initiative, I begin before anyone else sees what I do or looking for permission or confirmation.. without initiative I cannot fathom doing what I see within me.. and within the word "initiative" I also see a "line" coming DIRECT from myself.
In word play, I see "in this shit, I live" and "I give a shit". In this shit, i'm the one giving direction to myself.
And the shit I live in I give a shit about.
Referencing my dictionary definitions above, I see a line of self taking responsibility where no one else sees or knows someone else can. No one knows what each one can bring to the table. And initiative can resolve a messy/shitty situation by each one individually bringing themselves (fresh) to the situation.All this shit gets messy and the "fresh approach" for each one is to stop this shit, clear the way by sorting shit out by themselves, and helping with the clean up. An initiative is always a fresh approach - it's coming from me, the being before the beginning who is begetting the action. Giving a shit about the shit I live in, i'll act on what I see about the shit within me that can be done. Nothing would ever be done if no one had initiative. If everyone lives with self-initiative, we wouldn't be in this shit initially.
Also, considering the dimension of the word where it is to act/stand/become before anyone else - I had a look at if this can then be taught by someone else... if it is SELF initiative.. can anyone else really show self what it means to live self initiative? Who and what is initiating us in our lives? If we look inside, what's communicating our initiative? Mind-initiative is not self-initiative.. so can we really say that even if we act on our thinking, that we have initiative?
Looking at thoughts, too - that is really a big point of initiative where absolutely no one else can act on for us. What is going on within our minds requires self initiative from everyone - because in that shit we are clearly, absolutely the only ones who can sort it out in life.
Sunday, October 9, 2016
The Scale of This One Opportunity Called Life: DAY 6
Something inside me that disrupts my complacency in the brainwashing of my own mind is:
The finite nature of this opportunity that is my life and the scale in which the development of my potential within this opportunity can be seen. See, even as I write this, the opportunity is renewed and coming to a close all at the same time. I have a single life, a life who's maximum potential is already "one" within itself. This opportunity of life is the only one I have, the ultimate one, and I am the final one of "me".
Incarnate, who will ever hold my point in/as spacetime ever again?
Any speculation beyond who I am here, about who I am in the "hereafter", is rubbish irrelevant nonsense misleading many lives to participate in meaningless destruction of life on earth here as it exists right now - nothing is "hereafter" .. everything is /here/.
That being said, this "one life" point has spiritual, motivational, and unity-type connotations. Memes float around with just this text and an image, "one life" ... and some people say "one life" like it carries deep positivity and love. I see this quite differently and also see something more to be considered about the meaning of this one life that each have.
In this one life - my finite expression of life walks through finite circumstances with finite resources on my journey here on a finite planet called "earth" with all the finite "earthlings". Within this journey, everything is spread out quite well throughout spacetime - which is numbered.. finite. Even our concept of infinity still references finite - right there in the fucking name!
in-FINITE.. in-FINITY..
Okay, so I beat that dead horse "one life" thing enough.
WHAT IS THE OPPORTUNITY WITHIN MY ONE LIFE?
The development of my greatest potential expression and the inheritances that come with the life that is given freely to all.
The scale in which I see this opportunity are in the size of things designed to take it away.
The proportion I see my opportunity within life is related to the way things are that do not support the full potential of any life in existence.
The reality of how little would be left for me to get to really, actually know and exercise my real self if I did not have what and who I have in my life
I have an example for you, we will start with a week.
I am excluding the minority rich in my example.
You have a week, 7 days, 168 hours.
You work about a quarter of these hours or more, most likely.
You work 5 out of 7 of those days, most likely.
You sleep 4-8 hours a night? More, if you really like sleep.
You have 100 hours left at 4 hours a night, to 58 hours left if you do 10 hours a night.
These hours are not continuous, they are discontinuous with each other.
Remember, only 2 of these 7 days are not controlled by work.On a work day, your work schedule can split those remaining "free" hours in half, too.
How many hours, with all this remaining time left, is spent on errands?
How much on driving?
How much time is spent taking care of other things?
How much time is spent on things like school?
How much time is spent on work AFTER work?
How often is the time used to simply de-stress from everything?
How often are weekends all about "fun"?
How often do we mis-use some of this time on shit we know doesn't matter?
How many hours are consumed distracting ourselves?
How many hours are with others?
How much is spent getting ready and looking good?
When is the specific time for self to be really, totally focused on freeing self and getting to know self?
Everything is included in these schedules, the plans, the timeline, except for a dedicated focus on self.
A real sit down, with detailed attention on self.
Everything except for the honest facing of self has the spotlight in our world.
The only interest in one's self that enters the time commitments and deadlines is related to keeping self in the same cycle - maintaining the status quo - never realizing who self is in any detail.
This is where I see the scale of my opportunity - in all that time I don't really have and all those hours I do that I can use to support me for real. Any time I can commit to this opportunity to develop myself to the fullest has to be committed, because these time commitments as they exist right now do not in themselves have a designed interest in fulfilling my purpose. If there isn't time, I will make it. And any time that is currently "open" for me - must be filled with a stand for myself.
The finite nature of this opportunity that is my life and the scale in which the development of my potential within this opportunity can be seen. See, even as I write this, the opportunity is renewed and coming to a close all at the same time. I have a single life, a life who's maximum potential is already "one" within itself. This opportunity of life is the only one I have, the ultimate one, and I am the final one of "me".
Incarnate, who will ever hold my point in/as spacetime ever again?
Any speculation beyond who I am here, about who I am in the "hereafter", is rubbish irrelevant nonsense misleading many lives to participate in meaningless destruction of life on earth here as it exists right now - nothing is "hereafter" .. everything is /here/.
That being said, this "one life" point has spiritual, motivational, and unity-type connotations. Memes float around with just this text and an image, "one life" ... and some people say "one life" like it carries deep positivity and love. I see this quite differently and also see something more to be considered about the meaning of this one life that each have.
In this one life - my finite expression of life walks through finite circumstances with finite resources on my journey here on a finite planet called "earth" with all the finite "earthlings". Within this journey, everything is spread out quite well throughout spacetime - which is numbered.. finite. Even our concept of infinity still references finite - right there in the fucking name!
in-FINITE.. in-FINITY..
Okay, so I beat that dead horse "one life" thing enough.
WHAT IS THE OPPORTUNITY WITHIN MY ONE LIFE?
The development of my greatest potential expression and the inheritances that come with the life that is given freely to all.
The scale in which I see this opportunity are in the size of things designed to take it away.
The proportion I see my opportunity within life is related to the way things are that do not support the full potential of any life in existence.
The reality of how little would be left for me to get to really, actually know and exercise my real self if I did not have what and who I have in my life
I have an example for you, we will start with a week.
I am excluding the minority rich in my example.
You have a week, 7 days, 168 hours.
You work about a quarter of these hours or more, most likely.
You work 5 out of 7 of those days, most likely.
You sleep 4-8 hours a night? More, if you really like sleep.
You have 100 hours left at 4 hours a night, to 58 hours left if you do 10 hours a night.
These hours are not continuous, they are discontinuous with each other.
Remember, only 2 of these 7 days are not controlled by work.On a work day, your work schedule can split those remaining "free" hours in half, too.
How many hours, with all this remaining time left, is spent on errands?
How much on driving?
How much time is spent taking care of other things?
How much time is spent on things like school?
How much time is spent on work AFTER work?
How often is the time used to simply de-stress from everything?
How often are weekends all about "fun"?
How often do we mis-use some of this time on shit we know doesn't matter?
How many hours are consumed distracting ourselves?
How many hours are with others?
How much is spent getting ready and looking good?
When is the specific time for self to be really, totally focused on freeing self and getting to know self?
Everything is included in these schedules, the plans, the timeline, except for a dedicated focus on self.
A real sit down, with detailed attention on self.
Everything except for the honest facing of self has the spotlight in our world.
The only interest in one's self that enters the time commitments and deadlines is related to keeping self in the same cycle - maintaining the status quo - never realizing who self is in any detail.
This is where I see the scale of my opportunity - in all that time I don't really have and all those hours I do that I can use to support me for real. Any time I can commit to this opportunity to develop myself to the fullest has to be committed, because these time commitments as they exist right now do not in themselves have a designed interest in fulfilling my purpose. If there isn't time, I will make it. And any time that is currently "open" for me - must be filled with a stand for myself.
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