"I forgive myself" mind-dump Continued: Day 3

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(Stop if this is the first one you've read and see previous blogs before continuing;)

[Step-by-step sharing of me doing this real time.]

!!IMPORTANT!!: DO YOUR OWN WORK* and only read mine as a ~soundboard~ for YOUR OWN WORK, if you are not WATCHING WHAT COMES UP IN YOU TO SUPPORT YOU IN TAKING THE PROGRAM APART USING YOUR OWN HANDS, EYES, EARS, AND MOUTH - THEN STOP READING THIS FUCKING SHIT RIGHT NOW.

*WORK:
- THE PROCESS OF LOOKING INTO YOUR SELF/BODY/MIND AS YOU READ, THEN WRITING OUT WHAT IS HAPPENING IN YOU, WITH THE OBJECTIVE OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU ARE READING AS YOUR SELF WHICH IS REFLECTED IN YOUR ABILITY TO 'SAY IT IN YOUR OWN WORDS'. BREAK IT DOWN YOURSELF.

- RESEARCH WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND WHAT YOU TAKE FOR GRANTED.

- RESPONSIBILITY AND INITIATIVE TO ADD WHAT YOU SEE THAT ISN'T BEING SAID HERE EXPLICITLY; TO EXPAND ON THE WORK THAT I CAN'T DO BECAUSE I'M NOT YOU.

- DEFINING/REDEFINING/LIVING WORDS
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"I forgive myself"

Write it down, read it, think it, and hold it in my self.
- I would say it out loud, too, but my mother-in-law is on the couch.

Observing what comes up in my body and reads across my mind:

An echo of thoughts clashing together like conversations in a restaurant, overhearing one before my focus is dominated by another;

"I. - Forgive. - Myself."

Separated like morse code.
What's I? What's Myself?
What does it mean to Forgive?

These initial thoughts are inspired by the eqafe interview.
"Forgive" stands out to me as needing a definition.

Looking at the statement again, there's this empty feeling of not knowing what to do with this.

' "I" and "Myself", they are too simple to require any rework; how would looking into these improve the quality and effect of my Self-Forgiveness? '

Flash thought as I wrote that backchat out:
"Effect - to improve effect, look at the Cause for doing it."
What is the Cause of Self-Forgiveness for me?

- I am taking inventory of what comes up before taking action on it, like answering my own questions.

- I am listening to music as I write this, thought this is important to add because it could be influencing what comes up for me.

"I forgive myself" (wrote it out again)

Forgive is centered in I/myself.
The number 3 because 3 words.

Lots of thoughts floating through my head.
This will be a bit of an information dump so I can get it out and continue with what is significant, plus I don't know what may or may not be significant until I look at it all together.

3 = Self (Desteni material reference)
3 = Triangle because 3 points defines one (Imagery came up related to EQAFE interview)
I am forgiving myself - I am for giving my self.
I approve of giving to my self.
 
"I forgive myself" 

Emotions (-): impatience, hate, boredom, blocked, fear, resistance, avoidance, tedious, emptiness, cliche, corny, superficial, meaningless, forgetful, blank, skeptical, grief, tough, painful, endless, impossible, compulsive, obsessive, mental

Feelings (+): bright, hope, open, heavenly, determined, opportunity, freedom, emptiness, light, honest, forthcoming, fortunate, release, relief, relaxed, focused