The Stars are Irrelevant: Day 14

 I am going to aggressively attack the problem in the Star because few will continue to listen to me about this unless it has bearing on the matter at hand. Real life. This word has to be taken from the dream.

The Stars are largely IRRELEVANT for real and we only reference them for entertainment, romance, and aspiration (be-more problem)... all mind shit that eventually makes us sick and that we want to stop getting wrapped up in.

What makes this word irrelevant right now in our lives? Why is it not helpful to look at?
(I am taking inventory of the words that define the problem to be deleted/redefined so the way forward is realized)

- Outer-space: because it is an seemingly "unclosable distance" we have to bridge before we can apply this in our lives

- "I am not a celestial body of light" 
- The Light: We do not recognize our own light. That we are the light. There's an abstraction to be grounded, because how am I light? How am I to understand that?

- "I am not special"
- As if the Stars above and below are Special, they are somebody/something I am not and I can't do it. The lack of Self-Belief contributes to the Star Irrelevance.

- Magic and Mystery: same/similar to Special.. the statement is "I cannot figure it out"

- Feeling. It has a bunch of positive feelings associated with it that are not grounded. Do I associate my self with the feelings the Star invokes? Of being a Star myself? What does it feel-like to be a Star?

- Change. [like not knowing what to change]
What am I to physically change in my behavior to be a Star? What act defines a Star?
[immediately saw answers to this]
Performance (Show. Power.)

Lead. Initiate. (See the vision first and create it)

- Blinded by 'Others': it's always about someone/something else 'other' than ME.. = contributes to "I am not special" - we are obsessed with others and what they are doing - that DRAMA is our TRAUMA.

- "I have fallen (behind)" - like this is competition, comparison..."how am I supposed to catch up?"

- No Access: - separation, unable to reach or obtain access to that expression/life of the Star in ourselves.

________________

My approach for now is to, instead of looking for the support, open the flood gates of problems in this word, embracing all that does not resonate with me and allow myself to come to earth with the solution through fleshing out the problem.

A simple understanding to assist with this is INVERSION... as everything is already inverted... and the problem is just another format of the solution... like 1 + 1 = 2 - we see the 2 as the "solution"/"answer" but it is another expression of the "problem" of 1 + 1 - which in it's explanation is a "solution"/"answer" to the number 2.

The INVERTED STAR.... immediately you see the point. This is the "problem" we intuitively understand about the Star. When this thing is on it's head it has a surface, prominent association of EVIL as like the "DEVIL". 

I will continue exploring this EVIL STAR which is just LIVE/LIFE in the mirror. 
The Key to Life Through Evil immediately came to mind.

A Star is Born: Day 13

 What if you didn't have to be anything "special" in the sense of being more or something other than your self to really stand out?

What if the 'secret' to being the best was already who we are when we first got here?

There's this inherent definition of "achievement" or "accomplishment" in being a Star, but what the Star is perceived for isn't something received for doing something outside of itself. 

It's celebrity and what is celebrated is in it's consistent self expression. That's what we admire. The greatness is simply what happens when an expression is lived daily to it's maturity, it's potential. 

Look at someone who is the "best" or a "star" at what they do. The 1 + 1 of it is they woke up and lived that word, in that world, and they did it all the time.

Earlier in one of my blogs I mentioned how I have this memory of being exceptional in a video game.

When I looked at the memory all I could see that put me on the "path to greatness" where I could compete with the best of them is that I just woke up and played the game every day.

Without thinking, no hesitation, no after thought, no guilt, no wondering of what else I could be doing. 

That can go wrong, so i'm not endorsing doing something entirely without thinking about it.
What I am saying is the main ingredient to me becoming the best in that example was immersing my being in what I chose to do. What I wanted to do. And I had no self-conscious interference about it. 

That last part is what I see as a "purity" of action. Unconsciously participating in something where i'm sort of "lost" in what it is i'm engaged in. I know there's a bunch of buzz words for this like "flow state" or "immersion" or whatever else people have coined this observation with... but there's nothing "special" about this to coin.

The main ingredient in BEing the BEst is your BEing.. BE IT... AGAIN... and again.. and again... put ALL of your self into what you're doing. Choose it entirely. See it as your self. Breathe it in. Place it in your heart. Lose your self in it. Walk away only to realize it's still in you because IT IS YOU..

There is this EQAFE audio from one of the animals I believe, like an ocean one.. and they talked about how being their self is almost like losing your self. Like being on the edge of not existing.
When you are who you are.. you're so present it's like you don't exist. Ironic, isn't it?
You can read these words this way.
You can write your blogs this way.
You can speak what you want to say this way. 

The point is when you are born, and this is what makes being the best "child's play", you don't have a thought. You don't mind. For a long time you won't mind. Self-consciousness doesn't enter the picture. 

It's during those stages you absorb everything, fail all the time but don't 'notice' that, and you learn so quickly.
Children play without a thought and become so obsessed, so immersed, in what they they are doing... they become INCREDIBLE at what they do.
Obviously things like education, mentorship, guidance, environment, etc.. come into play.. but look at a child who is fully supported in what they're doing.
They are geniuses. They figure out things we barely believe they could do, or that we could do.

Because THEY are THE BEST /ALREADY/... they've got the main ingredient. We say they've got potential, but they're just totally BEING in what they do and couldn't have a clue. And it's nothing special. Greatness is like a perceived accumulation of what a being has fully lived. They 1 + 1 + 1 until their sum is much more than we could have imagined. We see the result of what has come together through their application, and only a small percentage is what we see.. like the light of a star.

It's absolutely, 100%, totally, CHILD'S PLAY...

Because FUN is FUNdamental.. but you can't have fun if you take yourself too seriously... and to really have fun... you've gotta "lose your self"... 

Therefore, I mean, what's the problem?
There really isn't one, because your mind is full of solutions presented as problems for you to lead the way... but if we must insist there's a problem; it's trying to do something "more" or be "someone else" because that invites this idea there's something you don't already have.. you don't already know.. you can't already do... (consider maybe that's the point in 'losing your self'.. you aren't who you think you are)

but there's no secret... even this understanding is just from reflecting on myself, my life... and using my words to pinpoint something specific... 

Anyone who really looks into the mirror of these words like "Star" or "Best" could soon 'discover' everything I have in this blog about themselves.. really it would just be an "aha!" or a "duh" moment like it's been for me - lol.

I'm grateful to have the Desteni process and the material which explained the Definition/Redefinition/Living word process because it's allowed me to appreciate the simplicity of realizing it's all in the words.

The information is physical, so when we work with the information, especially as we get deeper... we're working with a physical limitation and expression in ourselves. Like waking up a limb.

You have the Spark of Life already.. so use it to IGNITE.. you ARE the IGNITION.. the STARting point as LIFE... REMIND YOURSELF OFTEN.. you're ALREADY special.. EXPAND and EXPRESS that.
This is only a "positive" message in that sense that -
IT IS YOUR PRESENCE THAT IS THE REAL POSITIVITY
THE REAL ADDITION
THE REAL WAY TO 1 + 1 + 1 ...
INTEGRATE AND ACCUMULATE WHAT IS HERE AS YOUR SELF..
BE IT....

if you don't give up, it's only a matter of time until your special star is obvious to you and obvious to others.

How I wonder what you are: Day 12

 One day I will have brought together all the material points of the Star into a language. Why I can say that is I know that when I assess the vast network of information opened up by a single point and reflect back to the word acting as a container for all of that; it has an intuitive message. In the investigation, there are insights and relationships that pop out. Like highlights of importance. When you've seen enough and you consider all the parts for how they relate, they demonstrate an whole understanding. We collect the pieces and eventually explain the whole puzzle. I know others have seen this for themselves. I am curious what happens if I do not stop short, though. Because there is satisfaction before real depth is achieved and it's easy to rest on our laurels. You can get a picture of what's in store and say "okay. i've got it" - but it's in those moments we've only just begun to "get it".

I dedicate this year to defining, redefining, and living the word "Star" because if I can do it all the way with one, all others will naturally follow.

To prove it can be done completely without question and nothing remaining will shine light on my process with all others.

What better way to use the performing power implied in being a Star?

Heeding the caution of the EQAFE audios; we are not Stars yet... we've got to GIVE BIRTH.. to be what could-be, the potential.

My Star: Day 11

I had a great time with my wife this afternoon listening to music that had to do with the Star.

The principle I see myself naturally applying that is relevant to the Star is Mass Accumulation in that I’m getting a mass of material that I can cross reference and share with others. I am giving as I’d like to receive and creating a hub for others to share in the experience with.

I never considered how music could be part of this investigation but it was a very creative way of seeing what comes up in the word.

It’s also fitting because it is Star Performers, people in the Arts, sharing their presentation of being a Star. The way they sing, the various sounds and rhythms used in the song, and the lyrics they choose to present.

What stood out to me today in doing this was the Power to Influence. In many ways Stars are seen for their Influence and we love them for the effect they have on us. How they shape our lives with their presence.

Bringing this back to self;

Do we know our Influence? Do we know our Power? Do we know what we are really capable of?

In a way, all Stars are equal even in their Power of Influence. We don’t think differently of one Star to another as in thinking less of either, we recognize them as Special because they are a Star. They are different but equally great. It’s a cool example of equality at the highest level.

I had a realization about the Importance of this word choice while listening to the music.

The Star truly is the Starting Point because every day begins with a Star. The Sun. Even at night they are still here, so another cool point was realizing they are Always Here, no matter what time of day. They have an Eternal Presence and Expression in our lives.

It makes sense in many dimensions to begin the day reflecting on our Self as a Star. The Star represents your highest ambitions, your goals. It represents aligning our lives with the Heaven we want to create and bringing it to earth as us, the ones on earth. The ambition to become a Star is equal and one to bringing Heaven on Earth through realizing each individuals potential to be a Shining example of Life.

The practice I thought of was standing as the Star in my Heart, the Center Stage, and pulling every living being in my life into myself as the Star in my chest. It’s a conSIDERATION of All IN what is Best as the Star is The Best. Bringing all into myself as myself, that they can realize themselves as me. It’s inspired by what they did in the early Destonian days with the demons to share Self Forgiveness with them.

Just like a Star begins with a Center of Gravity which pulls All in its vicinity into it to express the Light of Life.

Star Memory: Day 10

Last self forgiveness post was from my notes before I went to bed.

The memory I’m investigating came up originally in the word ‘Best’, where in being the Best I noticed this relationship with simply expressing myself without thought and then gaining attention which led to comparison/competition that I felt uncomfortable with.

I would self sabotage in order to eliminate or reduce the negative experience by self diminishment. In a game I would play beneath my skill level to give others a chance to compete or catch up. In my mind I thought I was doing them a favor and giving myself some fun. Like giving people a break from my domination.

On further investigation I noticed memories with my brother or cousins where they would be compared to me, compare themselves to me, and I would not be sure what to think about that. Like superiority was pushed on me for just living what I didn’t think twice about. I didn’t want to feel like I was better or be separate from them, I didn’t want them to see themselves differently from me so I compensated with finding ways to be on their level. Not always, but sometimes.

This relates to being a Star in that a Star is The Best, but the word Star wasn’t used in these situations.

I see a sabotaging of potential in this for others sake, a lessening of self for survival.

I will move onto clearing specific memories with the word Star but because this already has relevance I’m going to start here as it’s going to make a difference in what it means to Be the Best within The Star.

————

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of other people’s judgment/self judgment where I enter their mind for comparison as a Star, an example of what is Best, and I am ‘above them’ in who I am.. what I can do.. what I have.. and how I think. Specifically the consequence of them having negative experience where I question if I am responsible for how they experience themselves in relationship to me, where I also begin to have a negative experience about being me and them being them.. because I just want to be me without this self-conscious interference in my expression which I enjoy. I don’t want to stop being me or for them to stop being themselves because of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise the best in me because I believe in it is more beneficial to be like everyone else, because I can survive in peace without becoming a center of attention and self-conflict for others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being myself as trouble because other people react to me and in their reactions to my self expression I had to face the problems in them.. that they accepted and allowed.. and then I accept and allow in me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being myself by the experiences and reactions of other people, which I then adopted as experiences and reactions towards myself because I cared what other people thought of me as I wanted to be accepted so I could survive and function in this world.. knowing that if I was too much for others, if I triggered too much in them of the wrong thing, then I would end up living a hard life with the relationship problems that developed from triggering them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to replace my unadulterated self expression which was real with a consistent consideration for what others would think about me first where I then prepared my self to express myself in a way that would always be accepted by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what others think about me as more important than my actual self expression, to suppress myself so as to not suffer from the experience of other people’s opinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in an attempt to save myself from the judgment and comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of being myself because I felt like there was something wrong with the way I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not normal and I’m not being normal I would be singled out, separated, isolated, judged, compared, and either exalted or degraded as people would not just treat me as themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection for being myself which wasn’t normal to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear standing out just being myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself being or becoming exposed and other people taking an interest in me or paying attention to what is different about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice what is special or unique or different about me in order to appear normal, to fit in, and remain relatively invisible or equal to everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward about being myself because I wouldn’t accept myself and just allow my self expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into conflict and separation with myself, polarizing what it means to be me and trying to avoid either being so special and positive to someone that they feel inferior to me or become obsessed with me.. or trying to avoid becoming an outcast/weirdo that is too strange for them to relate with, ending up ostracized and ridiculed.

…… to be continued

More Star Self Forgiveness: Day 9

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about my potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dim my light because I want to avoid the conflict of comparison and feeling bad about myself or others from the comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be someone else so I can blend in and hide from the conflict I face when being myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing out and getting polarized, charged attention which stimulates the comparison and competition of the mind with who I am. In that I become a center of friction, I find myself in the middle of a war within myself/others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind this apparent concern for others where I think and believe I don’t want them to feel bad about themselves because I am better than them, because I am a shining example… when the reality is that I feel sorry for them and I don’t want to feel bad about being better or feel bad about them being less, I don’t want to be responsible for that experience and so I diminish my self expression, my skills, my presence, my intelligence, to be able to be on what I perceive to be ‘their level’ of things.. so ultimately I end up constantly dumbing myself down, playing stupid, and stooping to an expression that isn’t reflective of my best.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself the responsibility of being myself which is the best as I fully express myself in the moment without any self conscious interference as I trust myself without thought to say and do exactly what I know is best/appropriate/real/honest/relevant in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to lean into the trust of myself that I do not require doubt to achieve an outcome, to act properly, to speak properly, or to think properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a pattern of behavior that is self-diminishing because I fear being/becoming the best and the focus of many people’s attention when I am equal and know I am not ‘better-than’ others in essence..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about being better than everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about thinking and believing I am better than everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am better than everyone else because I’m not sure what that would be true about and I feel bad about that thought… so first let go of feeling bad about thinking that even if it is/were true and then let go of the thought because it is something relative anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to guilt trip myself for other people thinking/believing/feeling inferior to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed others as inferior to me when I am just being myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel inferior to people who are just being themselves.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal, to see, realize, and understand that we are all equal and one without comparison or competition.. we are all being ourselves as we currently understand who we are and in essence we are the same..

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal to see, realize, and understand that we are all Stars.. like the Stars of Life with the Spark of Life within us.. embers burning.. with the potential to be shining examples. We are all special and unique without degrading each other, without diminishing ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal to see, realize, and understand that we can and do make a difference in allowing ourselves to express who we are like a child, an animal, in pure innocent brilliance.. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal to see, realize, and understand that we all have the capacity for Star Performance and Star Power.. to make an awe-inspiring influence that changes someone’s world and guides them back to themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my influence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget what I can do, to limit what I can do in/with fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am benefitting others by diminishing myself, dimming my light, lowering my skill level, playing small, stupid, and otherwise trying to take the spotlight off of myself.. when often what I am taking from them by not taking the responsibility of the limelight of attention is the opportunity to face themselves as the points I represent in their mind/being/body.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself the responsibility of placing myself before others to face themselves in/as the mirror of my being… where I am the gift/presence which has a key to who they are.. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself the responsibility of bringing people face to face with themselves by me being myself as I currently exist, where by not holding back and not interfering with my self expression, my maturation of potential, I am gifting that opportunity to others who will self realize.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to self-realize, self-actualize, and bring into being the potential of life that I represent in living without doubting who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt who I am and my greatness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to challenge my insecurity and perceived inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed less of myself when it is not best and does not actually benefit anyone - including me, when I previously thought it would because I could fit in, blend, and hide in a mask of what is ‘normal’… to not gain attention or create conflict.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this conflict already exists in us and that by being myself I am bringing attention to what already exists in others/myself because I am not confining to a certain self-definition or limitation that is ‘normal’ in everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be normal like everyone else, to have the same limitations and self definitions so as to relate with them and ‘have more fun’ being apart of who they are and their experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand for self limitations that only diminish self and my expression, my performance, my enjoyment, and my ability to create.

Application Adjustment, The Star: Day 8

 After lingering dissatisfaction with my journey through The Stars..
I have revisited some EQAFE material that helped refocus me.
Responsibility within Words - 19-25 minute mark specifically
Purifying Words
The Nature of Words

What I realize is going on within exploring this word is the network/constellation of words that opens up and begins to direct me in this process. I am accessing all these layers within myself on purpose to take inventory of what exists within the word. My dissatisfaction is with the irrelevance of it all because of the separation from self and the distraction embedded in the self-interest/desire of being/becoming a Star... experiencing myself as a Star. The attention. The fame. The above-most/all special individual. The money. The energy as the feelings/emotions. The performance.

The dominating factor of this pointy light that sits at the top of mind is Celebrity Status and the Heavenly Wonder. The imagery/imagination, what I believe the 'Life of a Star' to be-like. It is captivating and enticing as it brings me up high, only to disappoint me when I look at what is going on within this experience because it makes no difference because of what I have accepted myself as separated-from.

Even in writing that just now, I could see how I almost wrote out a statement of blame instead of responsibility. The whole, "fuck the stars" thing.. similar, if not exactly the same, as the grudge towards Celebrity Stardom. This point in me and others where i'd like to see them fall because what they're living is so detached or fake from the position many of us are standing in. Not taking into consideration what exists in/as the Stars Above and Below that makes-them-so, which in the same breath dismisses what-could-be, for-me.

I see this programmed experience of feeling abandoned by the Stars/Beings-Above and in that a Self-Abandonment.. as I face a reflection of the ways I let go of my potential to be/become a Shining Example of/in Life. 

Bringing this back to self...
Applying what's shared in these audios..
ONE point...
Placed in the center of my being..
On the center of my chest..
Considering the point to forgive - the STAR-ting point i'm defining as the Star.
This word and what i've explored/shared is reflecting who I am.
I place myself as this word i've lived within/as myself..
To test/cross reference my body on the point.

_______

I wrote "star" and said it.. then..
... checking my body.. breathing deep, holding my breath, looking up and down.. expecting more pain or tension.. expecting to feel more..
... slight feeling of pain in my chest/sternum.. questioning if it's related.. feeling burnt/tired from coffee today..

First point that came to mind before checking in with my body is from the Nature of Words audio;
"main point of separation is we personalize words to serve our ego, our interest as our mind..."

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be different than everyone else in living the word Star, becoming special in a more-special kind of way where I stand out in a way no one else is. At the same time, isn't this the point of the process within walking out the word Star? To discover the incomparable self-expression within/without?
The inequality would be that somehow this is separate from others and in this I can see the idea to challenge is that we somehow cannot be equal and one in being absolutely individual. In one of the Star interviews it was mentioned that they'd like for us to discover this uniqueness about ourselves. There is an interpretation in here somewhere that requires perspective as it's disallowing what seems to be a contradiction.

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a make-belief identity, a super-hero in my imagination, to define my potential - the who/what I could-be if I allowed it... this is the 'personalization' serving my ego.. as the pursuit of becoming a Star has this relationship with 'those-who-are-not' ... the SUPER hero is SUPERIOR.. but what is life like if everyone is equal and one in their heroic superior expression?

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon my perceived potential once I have realized this fantasy of the mind separated from reality where I imagined myself as someone/something that could never be in reality - cause even the Stars we perceive to be living that life are not in reality what we have created in our minds; they are benefitting from that directly as we give them the appearance/impression in our acceptance/allowance.

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the benefit of being/becoming a Star in the minds of others where I am able to feed off the attention they give me for playing-to this character of the mind.. performing with my body, my voice, my expression, to give the impression that I am someone/something more-than-life.. more-than-them..

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assess all of this from a point of morality where i'm judging myself and anyone who is a Star-Celebrity or intent on becoming a Star as a 'bad-guy' in working with what is here as how we are all programmed to benefit themselves in this life and position themselves for influence, money, power, control, or survival when.... practically speaking... that is the process we must walk if we want to make a difference in this world because even if it is not "real" in reality... it is the reality we have accepted and allowed to dictate us as we created ourselves subservient to it... so what am I saying in my previous self-forgiveness statement? That a Star is evil in it's intent and I am not? That those of us who accept and allow Stars as they exist, those of us that PAY attention to them, are not responsible for this? We placed ourselves in relationship to them as they did to us through what we accepted and allowed, no? 

The point is to live the word Star that I may express/have THE BEST... in the process, enabling a way for all/others because of what I have access to... not to denigrate what exists currently as Stars and further remove from my life what I actually want, further remove my potential for fear of being another person who 'made it in the system' only to be demonized.

Morality is not what is Best for All.

Self-Realization is.

That being said:
What is my personalization of this word that serves my ego, my interests? 

There is something more to be understood here because this word is unique in how much of it specifically stimulates self-interest. That was something I noticed quickly. There is also the interview Existence in a Word that explicitly details we must entice the mind/ego in our writing to support another.. to show them the benefit in taking this on for themselves.

There is no way we could be expected to walk these processes without benefit to ourselves otherwise no one will do it. If the personalization of a word to serve our ego is the main point of separation then it must be to realize the objective living of the word that is equal for everyone and not just ourselves. This must mean there is a detail in accepted definition of a word that is detached from reality where it does not actually serve us. So - just like the super-hero ideation.. but the reality is it serves us in life and physically if we correct the understanding.

A correction in the living of Star could then be that I do not need to become someone/something I am not but rather express a potential already within me to it's mature form. To flesh out the benefit of my being, my presence, and my brilliance. The super-hero ideation that only serves my ego is for instance that I would be a God amongst my slaves. That I would have the world in my hands with a bunch of followers giving me everything. It's the context that's false, the relationships I would seek to create in living what I believe to be a "Star". The ideation to correct is my projections of those who currently have Stardom, as i've separated them from myself and believe them to be living a life I cannot - that few can - with a value of life more-than others. 

Most of this I have touched on in some way already. I'm simply focusing my articulation and looking to specify this more.

Aha - a note to continue on in the next one:
I had a memory surface about my resistance to being myself because of how I would then be compared to others or have them compared to me... where I learned to then "dim my light" or lower my expression so as to not trigger that comparison because it made me feel bad.
I can see this relationship affecting my investigation into the Star because I want to keep "Shutting down the Star" because I don't want to face this conflict.. I don't want to have to stand out and take responsibility for what is reflected back to me when i'm actually shining for others to see.
It's easier to fit in and hide.