Initiate Release : Day 5

Continuing my multi-dimensional process of walking myself through my starting point within the previous blogs. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Desteni as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself and taking responsibility for what I know is within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up as what is best for all as the de facto ‘what is best’ in any/every context.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear visibly living the principles that I agree with because of the fear of death if I were to express myself as anything that go against the being's belief systems in my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my fear to limit me from walking my process with full creative authority and expression, where instead of putting myself out there within the experimentation of my application of what I have learned - I chose to conceal my application and in doing so, had to limit what I did openly. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my starting point within fear and to do everything i'm doing, and not do all that i'm not doing, because of this one point of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to paralyze me in mind, body, and being where I cannot even make decisions clearly or take action or speak up or write a sentence because i'm blinded by the fear and always thinking about what i'm afraid of creating, doing, happening, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to betray my Desteni and thus my Destiny out of fear, where I ran from the process that would remove the separation I see from myself and birth my life as the potential I know of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate from myself as my potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my potential as out of reach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately set myself up for failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become less-than Desteni and the people who are walking process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed inequality in myself, specifically in this writing with regards to Destonians, but also with any organization or a person that I looked up to such as within TechnoTutor as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to begin my journey as an inferior, as less-than everyone else that is great or part of something greater than me / anything i've known, and to then exist in fear of what is more-than me per my definition - that I can't wrap my head around it or understand it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I don't understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear beginning something I don't understand and royally fucking it up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as insignificant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a piece of shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a bad reputation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not living up to the name of Desteni and being a Destonian.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a bad reputation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disqualify myself from process because I think and believe I am a bad example of process and walking process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disqualify myself from great opportunities because I define myself as inferior, unworthy, and don't believe I deserve a chance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret Desteni as a threat and through a lens of fear because of all the words I didn't understand and because of the existential topics which brought up my fear of death and what happens after I die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to torment myself for years with the thought of what happens after I die and my fear of consequences for what I have done or said throughout the years, all catching up with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to fully hear, see, realize, understand, receive, recognize, integrate, and apply the information within Desteni because of fear and my preprogramming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my starting point within existence to not even exist from a certain perspective, because I never knew this word, so my starting point was created through my living but i'm not sure how or why I came to be the way I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a mess.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself haphazardly throughout life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have no idea how I came to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be totally clueless about my starting point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as just being here, with no real purpose or clue how I got here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone getting to know myself and why I am here in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting to know myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I could hide from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care what other's think about me when they don't know themselves either and are hiding from themselves, too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fucking everything up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear all the ways I could be fucking up that I don't know about and all the ways I think I am fucking up right now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a fuck up.