I forgive the Stars: Day 4

 Based on my past few days of writing on Star, here is some Self-Forgiveness Statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in the myriad of magical information and knowledge that is spread out among the galaxy like the stars, entertaining all the fascinating feelings and fascination with witnessing or becoming a celebrity. None of it here as self on earth where it makes a practical difference in my day-to-day, moment-to-moment experience where I can place it into action. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self expression and it's potential through/within/as lots of energy, where I could see in exploring the word Star as myself that a primary point i'm facing is how it's defined by this energy, this light, the 'out-of-reach' fascination with my 'my best life' being like a distant point in the sky or inside the form of a celebrity where I project all this positive feeling.. like once I live this or become this it will be a high of highs, everything I could dream of.. 
It's in that, I see self defined by an image detached from reality. I'm receiving a limited bandwidth of the actual reality of that expression but painting it to be a destination and a defining point for my whole existence - the light at the end of the tunnel is to become a celestial celebrity above everyone. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from and judge these celestial celebrities living in versions of heaven once I realize this separation and that I have been relating to them in comparison where I am the "have not", so then I demonize them instead of standing equal to them to actually understand the solution in/as/with oneness and equality of our self expression.

Placing the Stars within myself to forgive as them (realizing a prominent association with Stars for me is Celebrity):

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my self definition as a Star to Celebrity-Status, where I know myself by the numbers of people that know my who I am/what I do/what I have... therein I am temporarily known only as long as I can keep their attention with the specific expression that enticed their mind in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the experience of having All Eyes on Me as the Shining Star Celebrity, where all energy is moving to as people react to me in their mind.. comparing themselves to me.. competing with me in their mind.. while I grow in popularity, gaining money, a following, and possessions because they are giving me attention and with that their energy.. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I am without All Eyes on Me, as i've given up so much to become somebody, to become a Star, a celebrity, that without the act.. the performances.. the preparation.. the recognition.. the following.. I feel like I am invisible and a nobody. Thus I lose all the great things I have or did and fade into irrelevance. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fading into irrelevance and becoming a wash up, a has-been, and no longer being known for the peak of my career, my expression, my domination of minds in the world consciousness... where if I am remembered at all it's for who I was - not who I am - and who I am is judged in comparison where i'm always a "lesser version" of my self now that I do not have the money and fame.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider these points before facing them for real because within this experience of the life of a celebrity is something I have faced in general with my own goals, endeavors, and network of people. With the desire to rise to the top and then the fear of falling once I have began the ascent. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the point of consistency within a star that does not fail which is mass accumulation, or 1 + 1 even before the lights came on and the sun started blazing... the formation was through bringing it all back to self, taking what is here, integrating it and expressing self. The work we're known for is what we did with what we had and bringing out the best in ourselves. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming disconnected/detached/separated from the reality of/on Earth in the process of becoming a Star where I see the potential is that I distance myself from what is here to "Live the Dream" and Ascend to my version of Heaven where i'm constantly Celebrating as a Celebrity without a worry about what's happening on Earth... because that is the problem with what we experience in relationship to a Star is that it's NOT HERE.. so Heaven is still going on somewhere else in separated rooms/spaces.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a separation from myself in heaven, where ever that may be as the many versions I accepted, from myself here on earth.

In the beginning was the word Star and the word Star was God: Day 3

Self expression of the highest order.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.
It is with our Being that we Begin.
Because in the beginning was the highest order of being, that which gives light.
The Spark of life, it all starts in the star.
The smallest of interactions within, emitting a variety of frequencies we can see and detect.
What about us? Where is our light?
"And God said, "Let there be light: and there was light"
God, the highest order of being, is our word.
Is it possible the word creates light?
Is each word not like a Star with a different frequency? 
Am I not a Star whose interactions produce a guiding light?
With each word, can they not "see what I am saying"?
I am the word embodied.
In my presence and my expression there is meaning, through which life is gifted.
I express my self above and beyond what is perceived possible, so that I might fully align with my highest order of being and rest among the Stars in excellence.

---
I wrote this back in 2016 after having explored the word Star for multiple months. You will notice repetitive elements as I have hammered in on the relationship between beginning, being, start, starting point, etc... this is related to the persistence within Desteni to always check your starting point in what you do... and I see expanding on this again and again is useful because we're looking to Birth our Expression as a Star on Earth (practically bringing heaven here through each individual).. so I do this to expose more relationships in the word about that point specifically. We have to initiate the beginning and that requires articulation to understand the movements.

Here I was able to see that the Star is in line with the Living Word because of that relationship with God as the Word where this point of Creation begins.. as Words are a Key to Creation.

The purpose for underlining so many words was to emphasize the relationships and their proximity to each other. The last part of the writing is an inspired understanding of "the message" in living the word Star.. above and beyond, like the stars.. what we perceive is possible in "reaching for the stars", so that I may express the excellence of being/life.. given, the context here is we're aiming to align with oneness and equality so this constellation is sorted out and the "guiding light" is conducive to life, to others self-realization.

A little more context for understanding; 
A word, that which means something and gives definition, embodied would have a presence and expression that gifts that.. so the life I am, live, and have is gifted who I am.
A gifted individual inherently is Star or has that Star Potential.

Excel in Expression and SHINE/SHOW!

Starburst: Day 2

Starburst refers not just to the candy but to a type of galaxy where stars form at a significantly faster rate than others.

It happens because of their proximity to other galaxies typically and the interactions that triggers.
A catalyst is involved. (How can we catalyze each other?)

The essence of a Star process in how it begins is Mass Accumulation. (1 + 1 + 1..)
Inequal distribution of gas causes an imbalance and the star begins to take shape.

Long before the blazing light, the process is invisible as many come together in silence.
A patient life of obscurity precedes the celebrity status of that heavenly body.

If we place ourselves before the beginning, we are undefined. We’re like air waiting to be sucked into a body. We’re pulled together as many people, many places, many events conspire to bring us into being.

The We becomes Me.

I, the individual, emerge from the group;

the Mass of the Masses.

1 + 1 + 1 + 1….

a Child appears and a Star is born

Beginning with the Light of Life, Starry-Eyed.

The Sparkle, the Fire, the Twinkling Pupil.

Shameless, Celebrated Self Expression. An Innocent Wonder.

Gifted with All the Potential because we are New (Interesting fact: Nova means New).
Everything in Existence has Given this Being. Lead to this moment.

The practical aspect here that is equal for all is the cumulative phase, the consideration (you should consider clicking that..) of a mass/matter that unite us into/as individuals. One is an expression/allocation of All. 

Our beginning is a rewarding of life from a constellation of beings.
We didn't get here alone. We all contributed to the Stars as we know them now, good and bad.

Another practical dimension with mass accumulation is the process of initiating ourselves into Stardom.

Because it is the 1 + 1 equation.
We have resources (mass) in our proximity, at our fingertips, to pull into ourselves.
We can integrate what is here.
Star(s) are an expression of that potential when we center ourselves with what's here.
We are what our galaxy consists of.

This is an expression of the Massive Action principle in success.
If we do more, we are more, and we have more.
More = Mass
When we move ourselves often, we accumulate that potential.. that momentum.. and become massive.

Breathe it all in.
Place myself as the center and accumulate what is here as myself 1+1 (integer/integration)

In the time preceding my ignition, I merge and integrate with all the life around me.

"BE BEfore the BEginning" is a formula i've given myself to assist with the understanding that "Starting is Half the Battle" - it's in the words that BE comes first, BEING ~ BEGIN.

All stars practiced their expression's potential beforehand.

We prepare our Starting Point.

STARt with the Star in the Year of the Star: Day 1

I invite you to open your mind and allow yourself to think freely and have fun playing with this information as we journey through the constellations of data in the word "Star".
2025 is the year of the Star per the EQAFE interviews from 2016.
Check those out for context.

Living Word Practice
taken from this blog: The Star Process (great, coherent read)
"As a refresher:

Step 1 - To source the relationship I have with the word currently - who am I in relation to the word STAR? How do I define it, what memories come up, how do I relate to it, etc. 

Step 2 - To look at the actual definition and etymology of the word to get a more accurate definition rather than relying on my own definition (that may not be based in reality but rather pre-programmed moments). 

Step 3 - Self-forgiveness for how I've separated myself from the LIVING of the word STAR

Step 4 - Redefining the word based on actual reality as what's best for all - a liveable, real word. "

Material support:
there's EQAFE audio on Doubt (listen to the one after, too) where it is explained that Reading/Writing/Speaking a word accesses specific dimensions of your mind/body/being.

*The approach is to take inventory of all that comes up by writing it down.

*To access the layers: Be still, then I write, read, and speak the word and give space to see into my experience of myself.

*Unconditionally look at the information even if it seems incoherent at first. I trust myself to bring it together.

*I allow myself to play with everything no matter how it sounds, even if I get a bit repetitive. Experiment. Test. Assess.

🌠🌟⭐STAR⭐🌟🌠

- Consistent Exploding Self Expression.
- Light of Life 🕯
- Spark of Life✨
- Ignition/STARt 🔥
- STARting Point 
- Pointy Point 🟋
- Order of Higher (literally) Being [Constellation] 
- Stare at the Air to see the Star - Take the stAirs to Heaven.
- Out of Reach
- Above and Beyond
- Reach for the Stars
- Excellence is Rewarded
- Expression is Celebrated/Celebrity
- the Sun provides completely for All with it's Shine
- Sacrificed for Entertainment
- Wish upon a Star

A star ★ starts at a point • in the sky, "outer" space.
When we look up, they are tiny bright specs where light and life begin; it is born.
(interesting, there's a spark/flash when an egg and sperm meet - life beginning)
They represent points of physical birth.
The igniting/ignition(start) of a star is the beginning of it's self-expression.
The Spark of Life Begins the Being.
The Star at the 'Star't is Self Expression because the Star is the 'Arts'
Artist spells I-STARt, because I-Start expressing myself when I am an 'Artist'.

My Star-ting Point ✸ is My Self. The only spot that is all mine in every way - always and forever.
The point that no one else is or can determine. I am uniquely positioned to be my self - incomparable.
At the center, the Heart of it All.
The Star, the Main Character, that Starts the Show.

Focusing on the Star. What shines through? The lights in the sky that began it all.
Bring the Light through that was Here in the Beginning. The point where it started.
Where I as a Being - Begin.
Within their Being is the Beginning.

More to come....

Build the Business: Day 3

 I am about do my first door knocking session within the hour of writing this.
As the moment approaches, the fear kicks in and starts building up.
I won't be able to change it all just by writing, so I am only here to write in support of myself in the action.
The education that will lead to certainty and sharing, eliminating my fears and doubts, comes from due-action, from doing action. 
Education = Due action.
I am pursuing a real education when I take action.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear building my business by taking action through door knocking, where I would rather "build the business" through "building the business mind" at home where my education is first and foremost informational. Information is useful but in itself doesn't produce the results, so it is of utmost importance to go where my level of education is truly revealed and developed = in practice as due-actions, doing the actions as/when they're due to produce the intended result.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the fear getting out of control and causing me to sweat, stutter, freeze, or act weird/awkward as i'm door knocking or talking to the people behind the doors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my tools which will support me when I use them to deal with the internal experiences of fear, emotions/feelings, backchat, and ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself too seriously as a fear of fucking things up and taking things personally because I have high expectations for myself and want this to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as serious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing control of myself when door knocking and talking to people because I want to project a certain self-image to them and worry they won't see me that way if I lose control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the people whose doors I knock on to see me a certain way and to accept me, like me, and be interested in what I have to offer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need to be liked and accepted.

______

I door knocked after writing the first part of the blog 2 days ago. I have about a half hour before I go out door knocking again today. The anxiety builds up on the day of and it's the waiting to do it that exacerbates the experience. The fear is still present when door knocking, but going through with it again and again, it becomes other things like adrenaline, excitement, funny, ridiculous, flustered, and it's like different stages or waves with new experiences accompanying them. I felt like I walked through a house of distorted mirrors. Right now I am more settled and confident I will do this, that I will walk out the door, and that i'm not going to quit, but the feeling in my chest is like "I know i'm going to look stupid/feel stupid and maybe embarrass myself". Which, I actually don't know that, I know I felt stupid or like a bit confused last time. I didn't know how the script would flow from me and my heart would jump out of my chest at first, so I wasn't sure if I was going to get the words out of my mouth or if I would freeze. I was afraid I was going to be incapacitated or too handicapped by the fear and my emotions to function properly to get it done. BUT I did it and I kept composure to where I don't think I looked stupid. So, I could come across to them way different than I am seeing myself, judging myself, and how i'm feeling about myself. 

I almost backed out of working today because it was pouring rain earlier and it was a convenient excuse my ego wanted to use to not have to do anything today.
I got support from Jewell which he freely offered and that helped ground me and get my head on straight to do the work that is necessary for the business.

Anyway, I am here to face and transcend my fear of generating leads for my business, to find one potential client, book a presentation, and have an impact on my local community that is best.
I am here to do the act that builds my trust in myself to build my business and have the impact that is best for my community.


Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take convenient excuses to not have to do the work to build my business and make money, such as when it was pouring rain, where it would not have been best to work in the rain but because that was true, it was perfect for me to use as an excuse and get away with it. I see myself though and know that I was abusing it to not have to do the work and face my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to reside in my body, in my chest, and become comfortably situated in that experience of fear, allowing my fear to dictate what I will do and what I will not do - even to what extent I will/will not do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself as fear from exposure, from challenge, from removal, and to hide myself as my fear in silence within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide the operation of self-sabotage within me in silence, where I see this secret activity in me as the energies, thoughts, emotions, and imaginations moving within me, experiencing them, as they concoct a story and give me instruction on what to do or what not to do to "be safe", to "not panic", to "not go into the fear, just stay away". Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress the fear and the self-sabotaging operations I see within my mind, where I am pushing them away or pushing them down, to ignore them as the time approaches for me to do the thing I am in fear of and going into self-sabotage about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support myself living in fear within my mind and sabotaging all my efforts to build my business, challenge myself, grow in my process, and LIVE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic when I am walking up to a door.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to door knock.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sick thinking about door knocking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my feelings getting hurt.

__________

I just got back from doing door knocking. A couple things got in the way before I could go at my allotted time. When I finally got back home, I went and knocked a whole street. I was shocked at some people's reaction and at how quickly I would give up or refuse to push something that I could have pushed. I was also a bit disappointed at my ability to think on my feet and to give the whole pitch and introduce myself correctly. The first house with kids I knocked on, the mother answered and was kind but quiet. They had kids right there with them and said she didn't think they needed it. I just said "that's perfectly okay, thank you." and left. The other house with kids, she said, "oh my kiddos aren't at that age yet, sorry.". "that's perfectly okay, thank you". I could have said something about kids developing to the level of their parents, but didn't. I didn't think on my feet. I let it go. First sign of resistance and I bounced. Another day, a grandma answered. I mentioned doing assessments for people who have kids, and she said, "I don't have kids in the house." - "okay that's perfectly okay, thank you.". There was kids toys on the porch so I know she was a grandma. I didn't push it or ask for a referral. Last house with kids: "I'm not sure we need that, my kids are in private school and they're excelling in what they do." AND THEN the kid complained cause HE wanted to do the assessment. He wanted her to change her mind. I said, "Are you sure? Not even to see where they're at?" - nope. I tried to even use the kids reaction on her because it was funny and I thought it'd be an obvious pain point, she's denying that her kid even wants to see. 

Yeah, so that's the summary of the doors that answered. In 30 minutes a lot came up for me to face and I could fill up a few blogs just on that small time frame. 

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on persuading someone to book an appointment the moment they give me a sign of resistance or disinterest, choosing to say, "that's perfectly okay" and moving on as an easy way of avoiding potential conflict or discomfort for myself . Being happy to just have knocked the door and offered the assessment without pitching them or anything else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be complacent with a little effort to pitch someone, but little to no effort in persuading them beyond their objection, resistance, dismissal, or disinterest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear challenging the parents who answer the door about their excuse, disinterest, dismissal, resistance, and/or objection when they clearly have kids that could benefit from the presentation/assessment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up at the first sign of failure or conflict when door knocking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear upsetting the people who answer the door by pushing and to instead be a push over so that neither of us have to become uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trigger sales resistance unnecessarily in the people who answer the door with my body language, tonality, or word choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be easily stumped by people's excuses and justifications.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think quickly on my feet when people give me an objection, a rejection, or a sign of resistance.

Self-Commitments in Next Blog

Business > Money > People: Day 2

There is an equation in the EQAFE series The Soul of Money which talks about the difference in the Elite's programming that makes them effective vs. what most of us have programmed into us. This isn't the original interview that i'm referring to, but it discusses the point: Time = Money

The main point i'm reflecting on here will be about our equations programmed into us, where we simply think about and focus on money. Like always imagining having more money and what we'd do with it, not realizing that focus will bear no fruits and only delude ourselves with fantasies.

I notice in my life that I focus on money and how much I need it when survival mode kicks in.
I inherently believe that fixating on money will motivate me somehow to get it and become more effective at getting it. Instead of realizing that money is created/moved through systems, multiple actions/steps in a process, with structures, products, services, and other people as BUSINESS. 

Q&A'ing myself.

1. Why is it that I then focus on money itself and not business when it comes to "making money"?
   I don't realize that business makes the money, not the focus on money.
2. What don't I understand yet that I would focus on money first?
   That by focusing on actually building the business, money will come and it takes time.
3. What does it look like to be focused on business first, then money, then people?
   I prospect, build relationships with people, pitch everyone I can what my product, service, and business is, then I give presentations, close the people who want to buy, and support them after they buy to make good on the promises I make so they can have a better life.
4. Will I be able to switch focus successfully to building my business long term, consistently?
   Yes, it requires a daily decision and it may take time, but I don't know how much or when.
5. What are the consequences if I do not change this and continue to focus on only money?
   I remain in the system as a 9-5 employee, potentially look for another opportunity, and wonder what-if about what I could have done with this if I made it work. I would probably be stuck in survival mode and doubt, too. I don't think my wife would be happy either that I accepted failure, but neither would I.
6. What if I am able to change my focus and commit to building my business first?
   Then I can start making some real movement in my day-to-day and see some results down the road for my efforts. I will be proud of myself for what I have overcome and I will be able to hold my head high knowing I pushed through where I saw a purpose for myself, my family, and the rest of the world. I will be happy that i'm doing something that makes a difference and that I didn't give up. I will feel more at peace with myself for not ignoring this.
7. What is the importance of the order in Business = Money = People?
   It is the realization that there is an order to things and what I must prioritize. The importance is if the order was any other way then it wouldn't work, like running a program with bad coding.. There are errors which manifest in the relationships as unnecessary failure, dissatisfaction, instability, and incompetence. The money and the people rely on the business, so if it isn't priority then the each part is stressed out because it is in the wrong place.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about building my business and to suppress the point because I don't want to feel the negative emotions from my self-judgment and inaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus only on money as if that will manifest the money I need, not ever realizing that it was never my focus ONLY on money that made me money. I had to act, I had to communicate with someone, and I had to move myself for more money. It never actually appeared because I was thinking about it. If anything, it emphasized the moments when I received money and made the situations in which I received money seem like strange coincidences or like some special force working for me. My focus on money and needing money as a form of me attempting to manifest it charged those moments I received with a specialness as I was giving it more and more thought. The reality is I worked for money, asked for it, or had money on the way, whether I was aware of it or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the delusion of money fantasies where I think about what I would do if I had money but never engage in any practical planning or even a thought of how to make that money for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in what I will do for money, to turning down anything that I see/judge as less than me, even when it is not actually a compromising opportunity. For example, sometimes the job or opportunity is scary for me as it is outside of my comfort zone and i'm not sure of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually doing something i've never done before to get some money and to avoid taking action on a plan or even coming up with a plan of action to start making some money.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to start a business and just let every business idea remain an idea in my mind that I think would be nice, because I don't actually want to do anything to make money, I just want someone or something to suddenly happen where I have a ton of money.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to build my business even when I did start one, like with TechnoTutor.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think about myself and what i'm doing as a business; to treat my life, my relationships, my time, etc. as a business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack Business in the Business = Money = People relationship and equation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose focus on everything else that's connected and related to making money, thinking and believing that by focusing on one part that I would be able to make it. Not realizing that nothing is isolated like that and when it comes to money, there are other variables involved in it.


Self-Realization:

When and as I see myself focusing only on money as a way to somehow manifest it, thinking and believing that in my survival mode I must focus on money, as if that is keeping my eyes on the prey/meal I need to hunt and motivating me to get it, I stop and I breathe.

I realize that my focus only on money is not going to produce more money for me in reality.

I realize that money is produced as a result of building a business, putting all of myself into my business, and in that activity where I am providing value through a product or service = I will receive money for my actions as what I am giving to the world daily.

I realize that there is an order of moving parts such as the equation BMP (business, money, people) demonstrate and that my focus must be distributed equally to the whole system of things which produce the desired result.

I realize the importance of building my vocabulary to be able to build my business with clarity as I had no vocabulary for anything business-related until recently in my life, except for random mind crap I have accumulated since I was a child, and thus I do require (re)education to be able to see the points clearly and to be able to take action.

Self-Commitment:

I commit myself to ground myself in the actions of building my business, by specifying this in writing and educating myself more on what is physically required and on what sort of mind-crap I have getting in my way that I have to get out.. and what sort of vocabulary I am missing that is disabling me or limiting me from taking action daily to build my business effectively and effortlessly.

I commit myself to increasing the frequency of my education process on business and business-related material that will specifically support me with becoming successful in selling TechnoTutor, to accumulate the necessary vocabulary to act, speak, and think like a real businessman. Within this commitment, I understand that I must focus on steps to take action and not just study in isolation on my computer or in a book - although the books and internet can help. I commit myself to balance the information study with real application by putting myself out there, building relationships with new people, practicing what i've learned, and receiving the real education of me physically in action towards my goal.

I commit myself to reach out more (like once a week for now) to distributors who are successful just to connect with them and build a relationship with them, to understand who they are and why they do what they do.. what it is exactly that they do.. ultimately to integrate their examples as inspiration and acceleration for the purpose and process of building my business.

Back to Business: Day 1

Business is still relatively dead when it comes to my TechnoTutor process/progress. There are things I showed myself I could do to build the business that I stopped doing, things I do still that are part of building the business that I don't do consistently, and things i've yet to do that would build the business. 

1. What excuses do I have and hold onto, that I believe, accept, and allow without a challenge?
2. What are those things that I could and/or should do to build my business?
3. What within that can I forgive myself for that I would then take action on immediately, near-immediately, consciously and/or unconsciously?
4. What can I realize that would support me into a change that lasts, into taking action consistently, daily?
5. Will I be teachable enough to take action with an open mind to learning from failure?
6. Will I persist despite failure?
7. Will I take action on what I discover from investigating myself in writing?

1. I don't have time. It's going to take time. I want results now, not later, and I won't get results immediately. I have to face my fears of losing (friends, sales, my reputation). I fear getting verbally insulted and having my feelings hurt. I fear feeling failure, rejection, disappointment, incompetent, stupid, foolish, and less-than others. I don't have money for office space. I am in survival mode.

2. Go back out and pitch at the park, door knock, contact somebody for support and guidance on the lead generation, look at office spaces I can rent, contact people over Facebook and messenger, make a post BY ME to promote TT and SP, come up with my story, come up with a script for asking questions..

3. All of it. I am unprepared and so I would likely do the things that I see as preparation first or most immediately. That would be like writing out my story or script for questions, which is what i've not done. I haven't practiced anything. When I forgive myself in detail on some of these things that I get a knot in my stomach thinking about, like door knocking, I could end up doing them that day or the very next day. When I am effective in my self-forgiveness, the physical change is immediate/near-immediate.

4. This might take self-forgiveness to answer, first. What I can see I could realize that would support me into lasting change is that this is simple and I can do it every day, simple doesn't mean easy though and hard doesn't mean undoable or non-repeatable. It typically only means there's some sort of resistance and emotional turmoil troubling me and interfering with me taking action. I can realize that it's actually common sense and there's nothing special for me to develop to be able to do it, although I still must develop the common sense and allow myself to use it. I can realize that this is something I actually want to do and would enjoy who I become by making it a daily part of my life instead of something I forget about with time.

5. I can learn this mentality and appreciate the perspective most needed for the act. Yes.

6. I have and I am still here. The goal is to stand up sooner, to bounce back within a day, a couple hours, and/or in a couple minutes, to let it roll off my shoulders.. forgive myself.. learn from it.. forget about it.. and move forward integrating the lessons. Yes.

7. The is the primary objective of me writing that I will keep it mind at all times. My writing is to affect physical change as well with the equal and one internal change that aligns. Correcting myself in starting point and in action to what is best for me/all. It starts with me and it ends with me. Yes.
I am here to discover what is holding me back, releasing it, changing myself / my experience and my physical action.

____________________

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing excuses to stop me from building my business.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop myself from building my business, being my own obstacle, enemy, and resistance to changing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my fear to be the deciding factor in whether or not I build my business.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the reputation I will receive for putting myself out there to grow my business and in turn grow/expand myself into who I will become as a result.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the negative experiences as interactions with other people who do not agree with me, want what I have to offer, or like what I have to say/share. With that comes the negative experiences of emotions, thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, and reactions I have towards myself/others and what I am doing/saying and what they are doing/saying, which I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to also fear those negative experiences as something I simply must face and walk through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to insolate myself from any potential situation where I would experience these things in relationship to building my business with TechnoTutor and promoting Self-Perfected as my clubhouse and community.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that I do not have time to build my business with/as TechnoTutor and my clubhouse + community of Self-Perfected.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want results NOW, to want to make a sale NOW, to want to get money NOW for my efforts and that I resist putting in the time and effort required to get to the point I have results with making sales, with my clients goals, with growing my clientele and community/clubhouse, or with simply using TechnoTutor.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want everything with regards to my process and my business and my clubhouse/community to be easy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing friends as a result of building my business, growing my clubhouse, and walking my process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having my feelings hurt because I lost a relationship, someone said something mean to me, or I got rejected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of survival to prevent me from expanding myself by building my business or my clubhouse, because I think/believe I do not have time or money to afford such a thing when I just need to make money with my limited time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply give up on building my business and my clubhouse because it is "too hard" and I am emotionally reacting to it and resisting out of fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize who I can become in this process as the gift of going through all of this is I get to face myself and all the points within my mind/body that hold me back in life and in the system.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize I can forgive myself for the points that come up in the process of building my business and my clubhouse, then those reactions, resistances, fears, experiences, etc. all become gifts in my journey to life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that building my business and my clubhouse IS my process and directly reflects me back to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself through building my business and my clubhouse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing again if this self-forgiveness works and to not want to face that experience, so I subconsciously/unconsciously self-sabotage by not planning to do any of it or by putting in little effort as an expectation of failure which sets me up to fail.

__
Self-Realization

When and as I see myself facing the point of building my business and/or my clubhouse again. whether that is me physically taking the actions in the moment or just having the awareness of this point dawning on me/emerging again to be considered, I stop and I breathe.

I realize I can change this experience. I can change myself in relationship to it. I can change this relationship with business, with clubhouses, and with other people involved in it.

I realize it is simple and it is common sense. 

I realize it is my mind fucking with me when it seems complicated or "too hard", yet I realize it is not "easy" either - it is neither. It is specific physical actions with relationship to real physical humans who I must communicate with and organize myself.

I realize that I can take this step-by-step in process and work through my mind shit that is physically limiting me / holding me back.
_

Self-Commitment:

I commit myself to writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application (taking action aligned with the goal) on this point until it is done and I am moving myself effectively daily.

I commit myself to identify one action today in this writing to do that builds my business when done successfully and in repetition.

I commit myself to talking to one new person this week to prospect for TechnoTutor.

I commit myself to going to my clubhouse we set up for this Sunday and supporting our one clubhouse member who wants to come by giving her exactly what she is looking for.

I commit myself to realizing I can do this in action, to building myself up by placing myself in front of the people and in the situations I must be in to grow and change.

I commit myself to simplifying my process by cutting out bullshit.

I commit myself to taking down notes on all the various backchat and other bullshit that goes through my head about building this business or growing my clubhouse, to forgive it in spoken and written word.

I commit myself to believing in myself and that I can do anything and overcome any obstacle I face.

I commit myself to learning from my failures, which implies my commitment to changing my mentality around the things I will experience and face during this. I will be teachable.

I commit myself to supporting myself through all the self-doubt, fears, insecurities, and backchat that attempts to talk me out of this - to reassure and bolster myself when I feel like I can't do this or don't want to.

I commit myself to realizing that my writings must be followed up with actions and that every word I write has it's conclusion in the physical, where I DO what honors my word.