The Stars are Irrelevant: Day 14

 I am going to aggressively attack the problem in the Star because few will continue to listen to me about this unless it has bearing on the matter at hand. Real life. This word has to be taken from the dream.

The Stars are largely IRRELEVANT for real and we only reference them for entertainment, romance, and aspiration (be-more problem)... all mind shit that eventually makes us sick and that we want to stop getting wrapped up in.

What makes this word irrelevant right now in our lives? Why is it not helpful to look at?
(I am taking inventory of the words that define the problem to be deleted/redefined so the way forward is realized)

- Outer-space: because it is an seemingly "unclosable distance" we have to bridge before we can apply this in our lives

- "I am not a celestial body of light" 
- The Light: We do not recognize our own light. That we are the light. There's an abstraction to be grounded, because how am I light? How am I to understand that?

- "I am not special"
- As if the Stars above and below are Special, they are somebody/something I am not and I can't do it. The lack of Self-Belief contributes to the Star Irrelevance.

- Magic and Mystery: same/similar to Special.. the statement is "I cannot figure it out"

- Feeling. It has a bunch of positive feelings associated with it that are not grounded. Do I associate my self with the feelings the Star invokes? Of being a Star myself? What does it feel-like to be a Star?

- Change. [like not knowing what to change]
What am I to physically change in my behavior to be a Star? What act defines a Star?
[immediately saw answers to this]
Performance (Show. Power.)

Lead. Initiate. (See the vision first and create it)

- Blinded by 'Others': it's always about someone/something else 'other' than ME.. = contributes to "I am not special" - we are obsessed with others and what they are doing - that DRAMA is our TRAUMA.

- "I have fallen (behind)" - like this is competition, comparison..."how am I supposed to catch up?"

- No Access: - separation, unable to reach or obtain access to that expression/life of the Star in ourselves.

________________

My approach for now is to, instead of looking for the support, open the flood gates of problems in this word, embracing all that does not resonate with me and allow myself to come to earth with the solution through fleshing out the problem.

A simple understanding to assist with this is INVERSION... as everything is already inverted... and the problem is just another format of the solution... like 1 + 1 = 2 - we see the 2 as the "solution"/"answer" but it is another expression of the "problem" of 1 + 1 - which in it's explanation is a "solution"/"answer" to the number 2.

The INVERTED STAR.... immediately you see the point. This is the "problem" we intuitively understand about the Star. When this thing is on it's head it has a surface, prominent association of EVIL as like the "DEVIL". 

I will continue exploring this EVIL STAR which is just LIVE/LIFE in the mirror. 
The Key to Life Through Evil immediately came to mind.

A Star is Born: Day 13

 What if you didn't have to be anything "special" in the sense of being more or something other than your self to really stand out?

What if the 'secret' to being the best was already who we are when we first got here?

There's this inherent definition of "achievement" or "accomplishment" in being a Star, but what the Star is perceived for isn't something received for doing something outside of itself. 

It's celebrity and what is celebrated is in it's consistent self expression. That's what we admire. The greatness is simply what happens when an expression is lived daily to it's maturity, it's potential. 

Look at someone who is the "best" or a "star" at what they do. The 1 + 1 of it is they woke up and lived that word, in that world, and they did it all the time.

Earlier in one of my blogs I mentioned how I have this memory of being exceptional in a video game.

When I looked at the memory all I could see that put me on the "path to greatness" where I could compete with the best of them is that I just woke up and played the game every day.

Without thinking, no hesitation, no after thought, no guilt, no wondering of what else I could be doing. 

That can go wrong, so i'm not endorsing doing something entirely without thinking about it.
What I am saying is the main ingredient to me becoming the best in that example was immersing my being in what I chose to do. What I wanted to do. And I had no self-conscious interference about it. 

That last part is what I see as a "purity" of action. Unconsciously participating in something where i'm sort of "lost" in what it is i'm engaged in. I know there's a bunch of buzz words for this like "flow state" or "immersion" or whatever else people have coined this observation with... but there's nothing "special" about this to coin.

The main ingredient in BEing the BEst is your BEing.. BE IT... AGAIN... and again.. and again... put ALL of your self into what you're doing. Choose it entirely. See it as your self. Breathe it in. Place it in your heart. Lose your self in it. Walk away only to realize it's still in you because IT IS YOU..

There is this EQAFE audio from one of the animals I believe, like an ocean one.. and they talked about how being their self is almost like losing your self. Like being on the edge of not existing.
When you are who you are.. you're so present it's like you don't exist. Ironic, isn't it?
You can read these words this way.
You can write your blogs this way.
You can speak what you want to say this way. 

The point is when you are born, and this is what makes being the best "child's play", you don't have a thought. You don't mind. For a long time you won't mind. Self-consciousness doesn't enter the picture. 

It's during those stages you absorb everything, fail all the time but don't 'notice' that, and you learn so quickly.
Children play without a thought and become so obsessed, so immersed, in what they they are doing... they become INCREDIBLE at what they do.
Obviously things like education, mentorship, guidance, environment, etc.. come into play.. but look at a child who is fully supported in what they're doing.
They are geniuses. They figure out things we barely believe they could do, or that we could do.

Because THEY are THE BEST /ALREADY/... they've got the main ingredient. We say they've got potential, but they're just totally BEING in what they do and couldn't have a clue. And it's nothing special. Greatness is like a perceived accumulation of what a being has fully lived. They 1 + 1 + 1 until their sum is much more than we could have imagined. We see the result of what has come together through their application, and only a small percentage is what we see.. like the light of a star.

It's absolutely, 100%, totally, CHILD'S PLAY...

Because FUN is FUNdamental.. but you can't have fun if you take yourself too seriously... and to really have fun... you've gotta "lose your self"... 

Therefore, I mean, what's the problem?
There really isn't one, because your mind is full of solutions presented as problems for you to lead the way... but if we must insist there's a problem; it's trying to do something "more" or be "someone else" because that invites this idea there's something you don't already have.. you don't already know.. you can't already do... (consider maybe that's the point in 'losing your self'.. you aren't who you think you are)

but there's no secret... even this understanding is just from reflecting on myself, my life... and using my words to pinpoint something specific... 

Anyone who really looks into the mirror of these words like "Star" or "Best" could soon 'discover' everything I have in this blog about themselves.. really it would just be an "aha!" or a "duh" moment like it's been for me - lol.

I'm grateful to have the Desteni process and the material which explained the Definition/Redefinition/Living word process because it's allowed me to appreciate the simplicity of realizing it's all in the words.

The information is physical, so when we work with the information, especially as we get deeper... we're working with a physical limitation and expression in ourselves. Like waking up a limb.

You have the Spark of Life already.. so use it to IGNITE.. you ARE the IGNITION.. the STARting point as LIFE... REMIND YOURSELF OFTEN.. you're ALREADY special.. EXPAND and EXPRESS that.
This is only a "positive" message in that sense that -
IT IS YOUR PRESENCE THAT IS THE REAL POSITIVITY
THE REAL ADDITION
THE REAL WAY TO 1 + 1 + 1 ...
INTEGRATE AND ACCUMULATE WHAT IS HERE AS YOUR SELF..
BE IT....

if you don't give up, it's only a matter of time until your special star is obvious to you and obvious to others.

How I wonder what you are: Day 12

 One day I will have brought together all the material points of the Star into a language. Why I can say that is I know that when I assess the vast network of information opened up by a single point and reflect back to the word acting as a container for all of that; it has an intuitive message. In the investigation, there are insights and relationships that pop out. Like highlights of importance. When you've seen enough and you consider all the parts for how they relate, they demonstrate an whole understanding. We collect the pieces and eventually explain the whole puzzle. I know others have seen this for themselves. I am curious what happens if I do not stop short, though. Because there is satisfaction before real depth is achieved and it's easy to rest on our laurels. You can get a picture of what's in store and say "okay. i've got it" - but it's in those moments we've only just begun to "get it".

I dedicate this year to defining, redefining, and living the word "Star" because if I can do it all the way with one, all others will naturally follow.

To prove it can be done completely without question and nothing remaining will shine light on my process with all others.

What better way to use the performing power implied in being a Star?

Heeding the caution of the EQAFE audios; we are not Stars yet... we've got to GIVE BIRTH.. to be what could-be, the potential.

My Star: Day 11

I had a great time with my wife this afternoon listening to music that had to do with the Star.

The principle I see myself naturally applying that is relevant to the Star is Mass Accumulation in that I’m getting a mass of material that I can cross reference and share with others. I am giving as I’d like to receive and creating a hub for others to share in the experience with.

I never considered how music could be part of this investigation but it was a very creative way of seeing what comes up in the word.

It’s also fitting because it is Star Performers, people in the Arts, sharing their presentation of being a Star. The way they sing, the various sounds and rhythms used in the song, and the lyrics they choose to present.

What stood out to me today in doing this was the Power to Influence. In many ways Stars are seen for their Influence and we love them for the effect they have on us. How they shape our lives with their presence.

Bringing this back to self;

Do we know our Influence? Do we know our Power? Do we know what we are really capable of?

In a way, all Stars are equal even in their Power of Influence. We don’t think differently of one Star to another as in thinking less of either, we recognize them as Special because they are a Star. They are different but equally great. It’s a cool example of equality at the highest level.

I had a realization about the Importance of this word choice while listening to the music.

The Star truly is the Starting Point because every day begins with a Star. The Sun. Even at night they are still here, so another cool point was realizing they are Always Here, no matter what time of day. They have an Eternal Presence and Expression in our lives.

It makes sense in many dimensions to begin the day reflecting on our Self as a Star. The Star represents your highest ambitions, your goals. It represents aligning our lives with the Heaven we want to create and bringing it to earth as us, the ones on earth. The ambition to become a Star is equal and one to bringing Heaven on Earth through realizing each individuals potential to be a Shining example of Life.

The practice I thought of was standing as the Star in my Heart, the Center Stage, and pulling every living being in my life into myself as the Star in my chest. It’s a conSIDERATION of All IN what is Best as the Star is The Best. Bringing all into myself as myself, that they can realize themselves as me. It’s inspired by what they did in the early Destonian days with the demons to share Self Forgiveness with them.

Just like a Star begins with a Center of Gravity which pulls All in its vicinity into it to express the Light of Life.

Star Memory: Day 10

Last self forgiveness post was from my notes before I went to bed.

The memory I’m investigating came up originally in the word ‘Best’, where in being the Best I noticed this relationship with simply expressing myself without thought and then gaining attention which led to comparison/competition that I felt uncomfortable with.

I would self sabotage in order to eliminate or reduce the negative experience by self diminishment. In a game I would play beneath my skill level to give others a chance to compete or catch up. In my mind I thought I was doing them a favor and giving myself some fun. Like giving people a break from my domination.

On further investigation I noticed memories with my brother or cousins where they would be compared to me, compare themselves to me, and I would not be sure what to think about that. Like superiority was pushed on me for just living what I didn’t think twice about. I didn’t want to feel like I was better or be separate from them, I didn’t want them to see themselves differently from me so I compensated with finding ways to be on their level. Not always, but sometimes.

This relates to being a Star in that a Star is The Best, but the word Star wasn’t used in these situations.

I see a sabotaging of potential in this for others sake, a lessening of self for survival.

I will move onto clearing specific memories with the word Star but because this already has relevance I’m going to start here as it’s going to make a difference in what it means to Be the Best within The Star.

————

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of other people’s judgment/self judgment where I enter their mind for comparison as a Star, an example of what is Best, and I am ‘above them’ in who I am.. what I can do.. what I have.. and how I think. Specifically the consequence of them having negative experience where I question if I am responsible for how they experience themselves in relationship to me, where I also begin to have a negative experience about being me and them being them.. because I just want to be me without this self-conscious interference in my expression which I enjoy. I don’t want to stop being me or for them to stop being themselves because of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise the best in me because I believe in it is more beneficial to be like everyone else, because I can survive in peace without becoming a center of attention and self-conflict for others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being myself as trouble because other people react to me and in their reactions to my self expression I had to face the problems in them.. that they accepted and allowed.. and then I accept and allow in me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being myself by the experiences and reactions of other people, which I then adopted as experiences and reactions towards myself because I cared what other people thought of me as I wanted to be accepted so I could survive and function in this world.. knowing that if I was too much for others, if I triggered too much in them of the wrong thing, then I would end up living a hard life with the relationship problems that developed from triggering them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to replace my unadulterated self expression which was real with a consistent consideration for what others would think about me first where I then prepared my self to express myself in a way that would always be accepted by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what others think about me as more important than my actual self expression, to suppress myself so as to not suffer from the experience of other people’s opinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in an attempt to save myself from the judgment and comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of being myself because I felt like there was something wrong with the way I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not normal and I’m not being normal I would be singled out, separated, isolated, judged, compared, and either exalted or degraded as people would not just treat me as themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection for being myself which wasn’t normal to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear standing out just being myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself being or becoming exposed and other people taking an interest in me or paying attention to what is different about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice what is special or unique or different about me in order to appear normal, to fit in, and remain relatively invisible or equal to everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward about being myself because I wouldn’t accept myself and just allow my self expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into conflict and separation with myself, polarizing what it means to be me and trying to avoid either being so special and positive to someone that they feel inferior to me or become obsessed with me.. or trying to avoid becoming an outcast/weirdo that is too strange for them to relate with, ending up ostracized and ridiculed.

…… to be continued

More Star Self Forgiveness: Day 9

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about my potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dim my light because I want to avoid the conflict of comparison and feeling bad about myself or others from the comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be someone else so I can blend in and hide from the conflict I face when being myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing out and getting polarized, charged attention which stimulates the comparison and competition of the mind with who I am. In that I become a center of friction, I find myself in the middle of a war within myself/others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind this apparent concern for others where I think and believe I don’t want them to feel bad about themselves because I am better than them, because I am a shining example… when the reality is that I feel sorry for them and I don’t want to feel bad about being better or feel bad about them being less, I don’t want to be responsible for that experience and so I diminish my self expression, my skills, my presence, my intelligence, to be able to be on what I perceive to be ‘their level’ of things.. so ultimately I end up constantly dumbing myself down, playing stupid, and stooping to an expression that isn’t reflective of my best.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself the responsibility of being myself which is the best as I fully express myself in the moment without any self conscious interference as I trust myself without thought to say and do exactly what I know is best/appropriate/real/honest/relevant in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to lean into the trust of myself that I do not require doubt to achieve an outcome, to act properly, to speak properly, or to think properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a pattern of behavior that is self-diminishing because I fear being/becoming the best and the focus of many people’s attention when I am equal and know I am not ‘better-than’ others in essence..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about being better than everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about thinking and believing I am better than everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am better than everyone else because I’m not sure what that would be true about and I feel bad about that thought… so first let go of feeling bad about thinking that even if it is/were true and then let go of the thought because it is something relative anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to guilt trip myself for other people thinking/believing/feeling inferior to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed others as inferior to me when I am just being myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel inferior to people who are just being themselves.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal, to see, realize, and understand that we are all equal and one without comparison or competition.. we are all being ourselves as we currently understand who we are and in essence we are the same..

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal to see, realize, and understand that we are all Stars.. like the Stars of Life with the Spark of Life within us.. embers burning.. with the potential to be shining examples. We are all special and unique without degrading each other, without diminishing ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal to see, realize, and understand that we can and do make a difference in allowing ourselves to express who we are like a child, an animal, in pure innocent brilliance.. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as all as one as equal to see, realize, and understand that we all have the capacity for Star Performance and Star Power.. to make an awe-inspiring influence that changes someone’s world and guides them back to themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my influence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget what I can do, to limit what I can do in/with fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am benefitting others by diminishing myself, dimming my light, lowering my skill level, playing small, stupid, and otherwise trying to take the spotlight off of myself.. when often what I am taking from them by not taking the responsibility of the limelight of attention is the opportunity to face themselves as the points I represent in their mind/being/body.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself the responsibility of placing myself before others to face themselves in/as the mirror of my being… where I am the gift/presence which has a key to who they are.. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself the responsibility of bringing people face to face with themselves by me being myself as I currently exist, where by not holding back and not interfering with my self expression, my maturation of potential, I am gifting that opportunity to others who will self realize.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to self-realize, self-actualize, and bring into being the potential of life that I represent in living without doubting who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt who I am and my greatness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to challenge my insecurity and perceived inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed less of myself when it is not best and does not actually benefit anyone - including me, when I previously thought it would because I could fit in, blend, and hide in a mask of what is ‘normal’… to not gain attention or create conflict.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this conflict already exists in us and that by being myself I am bringing attention to what already exists in others/myself because I am not confining to a certain self-definition or limitation that is ‘normal’ in everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be normal like everyone else, to have the same limitations and self definitions so as to relate with them and ‘have more fun’ being apart of who they are and their experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand for self limitations that only diminish self and my expression, my performance, my enjoyment, and my ability to create.

Application Adjustment, The Star: Day 8

 After lingering dissatisfaction with my journey through The Stars..
I have revisited some EQAFE material that helped refocus me.
Responsibility within Words - 19-25 minute mark specifically
Purifying Words
The Nature of Words

What I realize is going on within exploring this word is the network/constellation of words that opens up and begins to direct me in this process. I am accessing all these layers within myself on purpose to take inventory of what exists within the word. My dissatisfaction is with the irrelevance of it all because of the separation from self and the distraction embedded in the self-interest/desire of being/becoming a Star... experiencing myself as a Star. The attention. The fame. The above-most/all special individual. The money. The energy as the feelings/emotions. The performance.

The dominating factor of this pointy light that sits at the top of mind is Celebrity Status and the Heavenly Wonder. The imagery/imagination, what I believe the 'Life of a Star' to be-like. It is captivating and enticing as it brings me up high, only to disappoint me when I look at what is going on within this experience because it makes no difference because of what I have accepted myself as separated-from.

Even in writing that just now, I could see how I almost wrote out a statement of blame instead of responsibility. The whole, "fuck the stars" thing.. similar, if not exactly the same, as the grudge towards Celebrity Stardom. This point in me and others where i'd like to see them fall because what they're living is so detached or fake from the position many of us are standing in. Not taking into consideration what exists in/as the Stars Above and Below that makes-them-so, which in the same breath dismisses what-could-be, for-me.

I see this programmed experience of feeling abandoned by the Stars/Beings-Above and in that a Self-Abandonment.. as I face a reflection of the ways I let go of my potential to be/become a Shining Example of/in Life. 

Bringing this back to self...
Applying what's shared in these audios..
ONE point...
Placed in the center of my being..
On the center of my chest..
Considering the point to forgive - the STAR-ting point i'm defining as the Star.
This word and what i've explored/shared is reflecting who I am.
I place myself as this word i've lived within/as myself..
To test/cross reference my body on the point.

_______

I wrote "star" and said it.. then..
... checking my body.. breathing deep, holding my breath, looking up and down.. expecting more pain or tension.. expecting to feel more..
... slight feeling of pain in my chest/sternum.. questioning if it's related.. feeling burnt/tired from coffee today..

First point that came to mind before checking in with my body is from the Nature of Words audio;
"main point of separation is we personalize words to serve our ego, our interest as our mind..."

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be different than everyone else in living the word Star, becoming special in a more-special kind of way where I stand out in a way no one else is. At the same time, isn't this the point of the process within walking out the word Star? To discover the incomparable self-expression within/without?
The inequality would be that somehow this is separate from others and in this I can see the idea to challenge is that we somehow cannot be equal and one in being absolutely individual. In one of the Star interviews it was mentioned that they'd like for us to discover this uniqueness about ourselves. There is an interpretation in here somewhere that requires perspective as it's disallowing what seems to be a contradiction.

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a make-belief identity, a super-hero in my imagination, to define my potential - the who/what I could-be if I allowed it... this is the 'personalization' serving my ego.. as the pursuit of becoming a Star has this relationship with 'those-who-are-not' ... the SUPER hero is SUPERIOR.. but what is life like if everyone is equal and one in their heroic superior expression?

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon my perceived potential once I have realized this fantasy of the mind separated from reality where I imagined myself as someone/something that could never be in reality - cause even the Stars we perceive to be living that life are not in reality what we have created in our minds; they are benefitting from that directly as we give them the appearance/impression in our acceptance/allowance.

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the benefit of being/becoming a Star in the minds of others where I am able to feed off the attention they give me for playing-to this character of the mind.. performing with my body, my voice, my expression, to give the impression that I am someone/something more-than-life.. more-than-them..

- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assess all of this from a point of morality where i'm judging myself and anyone who is a Star-Celebrity or intent on becoming a Star as a 'bad-guy' in working with what is here as how we are all programmed to benefit themselves in this life and position themselves for influence, money, power, control, or survival when.... practically speaking... that is the process we must walk if we want to make a difference in this world because even if it is not "real" in reality... it is the reality we have accepted and allowed to dictate us as we created ourselves subservient to it... so what am I saying in my previous self-forgiveness statement? That a Star is evil in it's intent and I am not? That those of us who accept and allow Stars as they exist, those of us that PAY attention to them, are not responsible for this? We placed ourselves in relationship to them as they did to us through what we accepted and allowed, no? 

The point is to live the word Star that I may express/have THE BEST... in the process, enabling a way for all/others because of what I have access to... not to denigrate what exists currently as Stars and further remove from my life what I actually want, further remove my potential for fear of being another person who 'made it in the system' only to be demonized.

Morality is not what is Best for All.

Self-Realization is.

That being said:
What is my personalization of this word that serves my ego, my interests? 

There is something more to be understood here because this word is unique in how much of it specifically stimulates self-interest. That was something I noticed quickly. There is also the interview Existence in a Word that explicitly details we must entice the mind/ego in our writing to support another.. to show them the benefit in taking this on for themselves.

There is no way we could be expected to walk these processes without benefit to ourselves otherwise no one will do it. If the personalization of a word to serve our ego is the main point of separation then it must be to realize the objective living of the word that is equal for everyone and not just ourselves. This must mean there is a detail in accepted definition of a word that is detached from reality where it does not actually serve us. So - just like the super-hero ideation.. but the reality is it serves us in life and physically if we correct the understanding.

A correction in the living of Star could then be that I do not need to become someone/something I am not but rather express a potential already within me to it's mature form. To flesh out the benefit of my being, my presence, and my brilliance. The super-hero ideation that only serves my ego is for instance that I would be a God amongst my slaves. That I would have the world in my hands with a bunch of followers giving me everything. It's the context that's false, the relationships I would seek to create in living what I believe to be a "Star". The ideation to correct is my projections of those who currently have Stardom, as i've separated them from myself and believe them to be living a life I cannot - that few can - with a value of life more-than others. 

Most of this I have touched on in some way already. I'm simply focusing my articulation and looking to specify this more.

Aha - a note to continue on in the next one:
I had a memory surface about my resistance to being myself because of how I would then be compared to others or have them compared to me... where I learned to then "dim my light" or lower my expression so as to not trigger that comparison because it made me feel bad.
I can see this relationship affecting my investigation into the Star because I want to keep "Shutting down the Star" because I don't want to face this conflict.. I don't want to have to stand out and take responsibility for what is reflected back to me when i'm actually shining for others to see.
It's easier to fit in and hide.

Realigning the Star with Life: Day 7

In the Star I see that I have accepted and allowed life to become an idea of what could be rather than what is through abdicating my greatness into a dimension of irrelevance with regards to the earth I live on. Above and beyond the earth, like an act of spite, the Heavens are Out-Of-Reach. A place of wonder and mysticism, with spiritual superiority to the earthly body. Life is fated by the Stars as we've let them be the map of the earth, but the Stars above just like the Stars below are indifferent to the plight of those beneath them. According to the Desteni story, this may not be the case with the Actual Stars anymore.. but that programming is still there in human consciousness. 

What is the point in becoming a Star if that power they represent is not (re)presented in all? The light isn't 'up-there', it is Here. We haven't found the Stars in ourselves, so we defer our fate to their placement. 

Like the "lighthouse looking for the light" analogy. Who are we waiting for? Why give so much attention to external sources to shine the way? 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as a Star to shine on all the light of life that each may realize themselves as life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to guide each one in my constellation, my line of sight, to become the Star themselves.. so they can know the excellence of their self expression as one and equal with/as life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed Celebrity Stardom to define what it means to be a Star, which is in Self-Interest Only, causing a massive conflict in the universe where each one is in competition for the resources of the universe to rise above everyone to be MORE special than everyone else. Within that, consequences throughout the ages ripple as everyone compares themselves to each other.. losing their light of life, their potential, as we separate into lonely little orbiters. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there are more Stars in the universe than grains of sand or human beings on earth and that it is not a point of comparison or competition in who we are to be a Star... we can be a universe of life excellence, shining examples of self-expression when lived to the utmost potential. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed the challenge of becoming a Star of Life because I want what I want and my self-interest is more important than anything else.. so instead I pursue a Stardom where who I am is the center of a galaxy, like a master/god/guru in Heaven.. rather than equal amongst the constellations, organizing myself to the benefit of life here next to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the expression of a Star as the people who have excelled in their fields of knowledge and information.. that have applied themselves to the extreme and networked + amassed a galaxy around them that looks to them for guidance in their trajectory, their expressions..

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider that there is more to a Star than the negative projections I have placed on them in spite because I have accepted and allowed less for myself than they have in this life. I would have wanted that and done what they did, too, if I was in their position with the same opportunities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those above and beyond me in what they have accomplished because it eases my ego to chop them down to size... my attempt to "equal" them through demeaning the life they've lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the comparison and competition within my mind that separates the Stars from the rest, instead of forgiving all in creating a way forward for a life as equals. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up on my potential and abdicated the responsibility to actualize that to the Stars, manifesting what i'd like for myself as another who would "take it all the way" in their life in becoming a shining example of self-expression.. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed responsibility for the inferiority in relationships to Stars and all they represent, because as the programming shows.. in doing so I have placed an ability, an access, and expression "out of reach" from myself here.. 

Star Irrelevance: Day 6

From my last posts, this dimension of irrelevance has stepped forward.

The stars are irrelevant in that their influence on our mind is to further mislead and mystify us.

In the Desteni discord I said, ‘all the problems that come up in the Star are what is solved when we define/redefine/live the Star’

So, the problems are that it’s all mostly knowledge and information as entertainment for the mind to feel special, to feel powerful. It’s spiritual, mystical, other-worldly, ‘out of this earth’, esoteric, and that stuff is very enticing to the mind… but what does it deliver?

At the end of this, I want to bring it home. Place it here. To show it in a way that it’s in my human body, that’s accessible to all, that it begets another Star. A non-image based understanding, something I can feel and know in myself.

For now the star is a point to consider as a reminder, a goal. In that, it is a guide I place as myself for expression. The journey to is through this crap.

—-Self Forgiveness Statement —-

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to face my disdain and disillusionment with the Stars as the celebrities and the mystification of night lights, where I just see/feel the bullshit and don’t want to hear it or think about it, but at the same time I know there’s something to these things as I’m enticed by it from time to time..

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to sort out my relationship within the word Star and the constellation of words that come up looking into it.. such as Celebrity, Fame, Specialness, Power, Mystical, Knowledge, Secrets, etc..

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how I have separated myself from the Stars where, for example, I have this experience from writing about all of this that could be put into statements like, ‘I don’t want to bother with this.’ or ‘this is all bullshit’ or ‘this was designed to distract me’… as I look closer at what’s going on in all this information it’s like realizing the life of a celebrity behind closed doors is actually very dysfunctional in exchange for their stardom.. the sacrifice of substance/life to achieve all of it is grosser than most realize.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the reality of a Star in our current definition is not very positive and all the great things we project onto them is actually an ugly truth as well.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider all that really exists within us as the Stars and the becoming of a Star, that is really who we are, that is not just the positive, dreamy ideals we know as the picture presentation of their existence.. which is a fraction of what is really within and behind the existence of a Star that we take for granted.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to extend that consideration to myself, where the positive presentation of myself that many people know takes for granted all of who and what I am behind that which is not seen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in all the irrelevant information and knowledge that feels so interesting and special to explore as I seek out the ‘power of a star’ or the ‘key to living star’ in the network of knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be Starstruck by the Stars, unable to see the reality and way forward within the Stars as I’m stupified in amazement by the expression I’ve consumed like a drug to get starry-eyed on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in infotainment, where I put on a show of the stars by showing off what I know about who we are as stars.

Star: Day 5

 There was a point within this EQAFE audio on Words about how we accumulate information, where we get to feel superior in the energy of being knowledgeable. We experience reactions from others when we aren't equal to what we're sharing, though. We don't know how to share about the talk we've walked and we also don't walk the talk that often (despite what we think).

"...beings will immediately react to or disregard anything that is seen to not be able to be comprehended or incorporated into their minds, in their self interest"

The point that's made is to share what we have lived because that is practical and of substance and entice the mind. When we share what we lived, that is always more practical for another than talking about the latent information that has yet to make it's way into some act in our lives.

Looking at the word "Star" I can see this point immediately within all that information/knowledge inspired writing I shared. It's me playing with the images and relationships in the word as an artistic display to see what it could mean when lived. That is the imagination, the playing of pretending. 

In a way, this is what we're living when it comes to 'being the best' though. This is what I can see in myself that may be true for everyone else. We elevate ourselves in our mind and lose touch with reality. We separate ourselves into higher and lower expressions. All that is great becomes celebrity icons that we perceive to be living our dreams. If we happen to be living their life, we separate ourselves from those who look up to us in want. Just a constant inequality of the mind that in it's nature is not real.

The "stars" we know are not what we think and that's demonstrated often when the curtains are pulled back. We as the stars have failed in guiding each other and organizing ourselves into a constellation of equality where all are living their potential.

The "star" celebrity on earth actually gets much of their light we see from us. Many are shining their light on top of the celebrity.. and that is reflecting what is existent in our mind/consciousness back to us. What we're seeing is our reflection as we are shining the light back onto ourselves in the mirror - if we can only recognize this. They do not become exalted or elevated without the masses placing their attention on them for their self-expression. Instead of appreciating and integrating in ourselves what we see in them, we sacrifice them for entertainment to our screens.

Eventually we burn each other up in this creation of a star as what is really being sacrificed is our attention/presence/time/physical resources to experience the entertainment as an energy for our mind. It takes massive amounts of physical resources to fuel the life of a star.

I forgive the Stars: Day 4

 Based on my past few days of writing on Star, here is some Self-Forgiveness Statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in the myriad of magical information and knowledge that is spread out among the galaxy like the stars, entertaining all the fascinating feelings and fascination with witnessing or becoming a celebrity. None of it here as self on earth where it makes a practical difference in my day-to-day, moment-to-moment experience where I can place it into action. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self expression and it's potential through/within/as lots of energy, where I could see in exploring the word Star as myself that a primary point i'm facing is how it's defined by this energy, this light, the 'out-of-reach' fascination with my 'my best life' being like a distant point in the sky or inside the form of a celebrity where I project all this positive feeling.. like once I live this or become this it will be a high of highs, everything I could dream of.. 
It's in that, I see self defined by an image detached from reality. I'm receiving a limited bandwidth of the actual reality of that expression but painting it to be a destination and a defining point for my whole existence - the light at the end of the tunnel is to become a celestial celebrity above everyone. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from and judge these celestial celebrities living in versions of heaven once I realize this separation and that I have been relating to them in comparison where I am the "have not", so then I demonize them instead of standing equal to them to actually understand the solution in/as/with oneness and equality of our self expression.

Placing the Stars within myself to forgive as them (realizing a prominent association with Stars for me is Celebrity):

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my self definition as a Star to Celebrity-Status, where I know myself by the numbers of people that know my who I am/what I do/what I have... therein I am temporarily known only as long as I can keep their attention with the specific expression that enticed their mind in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the experience of having All Eyes on Me as the Shining Star Celebrity, where all energy is moving to as people react to me in their mind.. comparing themselves to me.. competing with me in their mind.. while I grow in popularity, gaining money, a following, and possessions because they are giving me attention and with that their energy.. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I am without All Eyes on Me, as i've given up so much to become somebody, to become a Star, a celebrity, that without the act.. the performances.. the preparation.. the recognition.. the following.. I feel like I am invisible and a nobody. Thus I lose all the great things I have or did and fade into irrelevance. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fading into irrelevance and becoming a wash up, a has-been, and no longer being known for the peak of my career, my expression, my domination of minds in the world consciousness... where if I am remembered at all it's for who I was - not who I am - and who I am is judged in comparison where i'm always a "lesser version" of my self now that I do not have the money and fame.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider these points before facing them for real because within this experience of the life of a celebrity is something I have faced in general with my own goals, endeavors, and network of people. With the desire to rise to the top and then the fear of falling once I have began the ascent. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the point of consistency within a star that does not fail which is mass accumulation, or 1 + 1 even before the lights came on and the sun started blazing... the formation was through bringing it all back to self, taking what is here, integrating it and expressing self. The work we're known for is what we did with what we had and bringing out the best in ourselves. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming disconnected/detached/separated from the reality of/on Earth in the process of becoming a Star where I see the potential is that I distance myself from what is here to "Live the Dream" and Ascend to my version of Heaven where i'm constantly Celebrating as a Celebrity without a worry about what's happening on Earth... because that is the problem with what we experience in relationship to a Star is that it's NOT HERE.. so Heaven is still going on somewhere else in separated rooms/spaces.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a separation from myself in heaven, where ever that may be as the many versions I accepted, from myself here on earth.

In the beginning was the word Star and the word Star was God: Day 3

Self expression of the highest order.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.
It is with our Being that we Begin.
Because in the beginning was the highest order of being, that which gives light.
The Spark of life, it all starts in the star.
The smallest of interactions within, emitting a variety of frequencies we can see and detect.
What about us? Where is our light?
"And God said, "Let there be light: and there was light"
God, the highest order of being, is our word.
Is it possible the word creates light?
Is each word not like a Star with a different frequency? 
Am I not a Star whose interactions produce a guiding light?
With each word, can they not "see what I am saying"?
I am the word embodied.
In my presence and my expression there is meaning, through which life is gifted.
I express my self above and beyond what is perceived possible, so that I might fully align with my highest order of being and rest among the Stars in excellence.

---
I wrote this back in 2016 after having explored the word Star for multiple months. You will notice repetitive elements as I have hammered in on the relationship between beginning, being, start, starting point, etc... this is related to the persistence within Desteni to always check your starting point in what you do... and I see expanding on this again and again is useful because we're looking to Birth our Expression as a Star on Earth (practically bringing heaven here through each individual).. so I do this to expose more relationships in the word about that point specifically. We have to initiate the beginning and that requires articulation to understand the movements.

Here I was able to see that the Star is in line with the Living Word because of that relationship with God as the Word where this point of Creation begins.. as Words are a Key to Creation.

The purpose for underlining so many words was to emphasize the relationships and their proximity to each other. The last part of the writing is an inspired understanding of "the message" in living the word Star.. above and beyond, like the stars.. what we perceive is possible in "reaching for the stars", so that I may express the excellence of being/life.. given, the context here is we're aiming to align with oneness and equality so this constellation is sorted out and the "guiding light" is conducive to life, to others self-realization.

A little more context for understanding; 
A word, that which means something and gives definition, embodied would have a presence and expression that gifts that.. so the life I am, live, and have is gifted who I am.
A gifted individual inherently is Star or has that Star Potential.

Excel in Expression and SHINE/SHOW!

Starburst: Day 2

Starburst refers not just to the candy but to a type of galaxy where stars form at a significantly faster rate than others.

It happens because of their proximity to other galaxies typically and the interactions that triggers.
A catalyst is involved. (How can we catalyze each other?)

The essence of a Star process in how it begins is Mass Accumulation. (1 + 1 + 1..)
Inequal distribution of gas causes an imbalance and the star begins to take shape.

Long before the blazing light, the process is invisible as many come together in silence.
A patient life of obscurity precedes the celebrity status of that heavenly body.

If we place ourselves before the beginning, we are undefined. We’re like air waiting to be sucked into a body. We’re pulled together as many people, many places, many events conspire to bring us into being.

The We becomes Me.

I, the individual, emerge from the group;

the Mass of the Masses.

1 + 1 + 1 + 1….

a Child appears and a Star is born

Beginning with the Light of Life, Starry-Eyed.

The Sparkle, the Fire, the Twinkling Pupil.

Shameless, Celebrated Self Expression. An Innocent Wonder.

Gifted with All the Potential because we are New (Interesting fact: Nova means New).
Everything in Existence has Given this Being. Lead to this moment.

The practical aspect here that is equal for all is the cumulative phase, the consideration (you should consider clicking that..) of a mass/matter that unite us into/as individuals. One is an expression/allocation of All. 

Our beginning is a rewarding of life from a constellation of beings.
We didn't get here alone. We all contributed to the Stars as we know them now, good and bad.

Another practical dimension with mass accumulation is the process of initiating ourselves into Stardom.

Because it is the 1 + 1 equation.
We have resources (mass) in our proximity, at our fingertips, to pull into ourselves.
We can integrate what is here.
Star(s) are an expression of that potential when we center ourselves with what's here.
We are what our galaxy consists of.

This is an expression of the Massive Action principle in success.
If we do more, we are more, and we have more.
More = Mass
When we move ourselves often, we accumulate that potential.. that momentum.. and become massive.

Breathe it all in.
Place myself as the center and accumulate what is here as myself 1+1 (integer/integration)

In the time preceding my ignition, I merge and integrate with all the life around me.

"BE BEfore the BEginning" is a formula i've given myself to assist with the understanding that "Starting is Half the Battle" - it's in the words that BE comes first, BEING ~ BEGIN.

All stars practiced their expression's potential beforehand.

We prepare our Starting Point.

STARt with the Star in the Year of the Star: Day 1

I invite you to open your mind and allow yourself to think freely and have fun playing with this information as we journey through the constellations of data in the word "Star".
2025 is the year of the Star per the EQAFE interviews from 2016.
Check those out for context.

Living Word Practice
taken from this blog: The Star Process (great, coherent read)
"As a refresher:

Step 1 - To source the relationship I have with the word currently - who am I in relation to the word STAR? How do I define it, what memories come up, how do I relate to it, etc. 

Step 2 - To look at the actual definition and etymology of the word to get a more accurate definition rather than relying on my own definition (that may not be based in reality but rather pre-programmed moments). 

Step 3 - Self-forgiveness for how I've separated myself from the LIVING of the word STAR

Step 4 - Redefining the word based on actual reality as what's best for all - a liveable, real word. "

Material support:
there's EQAFE audio on Doubt (listen to the one after, too) where it is explained that Reading/Writing/Speaking a word accesses specific dimensions of your mind/body/being.

*The approach is to take inventory of all that comes up by writing it down.

*To access the layers: Be still, then I write, read, and speak the word and give space to see into my experience of myself.

*Unconditionally look at the information even if it seems incoherent at first. I trust myself to bring it together.

*I allow myself to play with everything no matter how it sounds, even if I get a bit repetitive. Experiment. Test. Assess.

🌠🌟⭐STAR⭐🌟🌠

- Consistent Exploding Self Expression.
- Light of Life 🕯
- Spark of Life✨
- Ignition/STARt 🔥
- STARting Point 
- Pointy Point 🟋
- Order of Higher (literally) Being [Constellation] 
- Stare at the Air to see the Star - Take the stAirs to Heaven.
- Out of Reach
- Above and Beyond
- Reach for the Stars
- Excellence is Rewarded
- Expression is Celebrated/Celebrity
- the Sun provides completely for All with it's Shine
- Sacrificed for Entertainment
- Wish upon a Star

A star ★ starts at a point • in the sky, "outer" space.
When we look up, they are tiny bright specs where light and life begin; it is born.
(interesting, there's a spark/flash when an egg and sperm meet - life beginning)
They represent points of physical birth.
The igniting/ignition(start) of a star is the beginning of it's self-expression.
The Spark of Life Begins the Being.
The Star at the 'Star't is Self Expression because the Star is the 'Arts'
Artist spells I-STARt, because I-Start expressing myself when I am an 'Artist'.

My Star-ting Point ✸ is My Self. The only spot that is all mine in every way - always and forever.
The point that no one else is or can determine. I am uniquely positioned to be my self - incomparable.
At the center, the Heart of it All.
The Star, the Main Character, that Starts the Show.

Focusing on the Star. What shines through? The lights in the sky that began it all.
Bring the Light through that was Here in the Beginning. The point where it started.
Where I as a Being - Begin.
Within their Being is the Beginning.

More to come....